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Monday, March 29, 2010

Matchbook Memories

When I visited my parents last week, I went digging through the basement boxes to see what treasure I could find.  Last time, I found my skydiving photos.  This time, I found my collection of matchbooks that I had accumulated from every cool restaurant, bar or site I visited during the time after college when I lived in Stamford, CT to the time I lived in San Francisco.  I stopped collecting matchbooks because a) I'm not a smoker and b) the tin box where I kept them became full.  It's too bad that I stopped because sifting through the matchbooks brought forth many memories.  

There was the cafe we (including Peony) stopped at on New Year's Eve 1995/6 (Yaffa Cafe), the belly dancing restaurant in SF (Kan Zaman), the last motel my parents owned (Arbor Inn), the comedy club I visited with Dana, Mark and Kate in Milwaukee (Comedy Cafe), the restaurant in Memphis with Susan (P.F. Chang's), the bar in Miami with Susan (Cafe Tu Tu Tango), the club in LA with Ann (Viper Room), and many many more.  I wish I had kept up the collection because I'd forgotten most of these places and it was nice to receive a memory jolt.




in Massachusetts
Christopher's (Cambridge)
Stars on Higham Harbor (Hingham)
Sunset Motel  (Lee)
Arbor Inn Motor Lodge (Weymouth)

in Rhode Island
The 108 House (Wakefield)

in Milwaukee
Comedy Cafe

in Connecticut
Bank Street Brewing Co. (Stamford)
Le Figaro Bistro de Paris (Greenwich)
Sakura (Westport)
Telluride (Stamford)
Violets Dinner Club (Stamford)

in Tennessee
P.F. Chang's (Memphis)

 in Florida
Cafe Tu Tu Tango (Coconut Grove)

 in Las Vegas
Bellagio
Caesars
Mirage
New York New York

 in California
Brix Restaurant & Market (Yountville, Napa Valley)
Caribbean Zone (San Francisco)
Casa de Bandini (Old Town San Diego)
The Viper Room (Hollywood)
Jazz at Pearl's (Oakland)
Kan Zaman (San Francisco)
Murrays (San Francisco)
Eleven Restaurant + Bar (San Francisco)
Vertigo Restaurant & Bar (San Francisco)

 in London
Hard Rock Cafe


 in New York City
420 Bar & Lounge
Louisiana Community Bar & Grill
Planet Sushi
Yaffa Cafe
Ruby Foo's
Trattoria Trecolori
Webster Hall

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

A Birthday Fairy Tale

 This was a birthday card that my brother gave me years ago when I was in my late 20s.


On the inside:

That night, the princess had frog legs for dinner.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Milestone: 13 Months

N turned one last month and we welcomed the milestone with no less than three birthday parties (and yes, he wore the same "birthday boy" onesie each time).  Here is the announcement I sent to our relatives who did not make it to the celebrations.  All of these photos were taken in February.


Now 13 months, N has really hit is stride.
  • He took his first step at 10 months and the week after his first birthday, he began walking proficiently, which means he walks room to room now as opposed to 7-8 steps from object to object. 
  • At the moment, his favorite constantly repeated word is "uh-oh."  He throws a toy on the floor and "uh-oh."  This has pointed out to me how much I say that expression.  He has cut back on saying "mama," which was the word of the moment at 10 months.
  • He was eating everything we gave him and now he's become a picky eater.  His favorites - peas, green beans, broccoli, avocado, zucchini pancakes, and spinach pancakes.  The kid loves quinoa! If we distract him, we can force down some chicken or turkey, bologna, lentils.  He's rebelling against yogurt, carrots, fruits.  His once favorite bananas are now disgusting to him.  He will not take juice (good) and we're slowly getting him on board with whole milk.  I should be happy he likes vegetables.  
  • He's a very happy kid.  The people in our apt building love him.  When one of our neighbors saw him walking down the hallway, she said, "I heard he was walking.  Everyone's talking about it."  Living in a co-op gives you a small town feel.  Of course, it means we can't just come into our building and go to our apt without stopping to chat with the doorman or whoever is sitting in the lobby lounge.
  • The naps are much better these days.  He tends to get an hour for both naps -- a vast improvement.  He's still sleeping through the night, about 11 hours.
  • He is non-stop active.  He opens and closes drawers.  He rifles through kitchen cabinets.  He turns the light switch on and off.  He puts objects into bowls.  He stacks objects.  He sits in his toddler chair.  He can open the trash can lid.  He climbs stairs.  He climbs onto the couch and knows to get off  "feet first."  He puts toys and objects back on the shelves after he takes them down.  He's learning!

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Teaching Kids to Tell the Truth

Studies have shown that the story "George Washington and the Cherry Tree" is far more effective at teaching kids to tell the truth than "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" (Bronson and Merryman, NurtureShock).  Here is the story to tell your kids.

The Cherry Tree

By: Mason Locke Weems

When George Washington was about six years old, he was made the wealthy master of a hatchet of which, like most little boys, he was extremely fond. He went about chopping everything that came his way.

One day, as he wandered about the garden amusing himself by hacking his mother's pea- sticks, he found a beautiful, young English cherry tree, of which his father was most proud. He tried the edge of his hatchet on the trunk of the tree and barked it so that it died.

Some time after this, his father discovered what had happened to his favorite tree. He came into the house in great anger, and demanded to know who the mischievous person was who had cut away the bark. Nobody could tell him anything about it.

Just then George, with his little hatchet, came into the room.

"George," said his father, "do you know who has killed my beautiful little cherry tree yonder in the garden? I would not have taken five guineas for it!"

This was a hard question to answer, and for a moment George was staggered by it, but quickly recovering himself he cried: --

"I cannot tell a lie, father, you know I cannot tell a lie! I did cut it with my little hatchet."

The anger died out of his father's face, and taking the boy tenderly in his arms, he said: --

"My son, that you should not be afraid to tell the truth is more to me than a thousand trees! yes, though they were blossomed with silver and had leaves of the purest gold!"

Monday, March 8, 2010

Uniform Change

Today is the 35th anniversary of International Women's Day!  In honor of this day, I will share an anecdote involving my parents.

 
My first voyage to India was when I was seven years old.  I made the trip with my family and spent most of the time with my paternal grandparents in their small village called Bodali.   I visited Bombay (now Mumbai) for a few days, but mostly I was in Bodali.  I have vivid memories of that place and time.  I remember that in honor of our visit, a friend of my grandparents sent a live chicken to cook for our evening dinner.  I remember a couple of neighborhood boys gave my brother and me hand-carved wooden sling shots.  I remember heating the milk every morning and storing it in the cabinet to use during the day because there was no refrigerator.  I remember watching the maid milk the buffalo...and the buffalo droppings all along the dirt road that runs through town.  I remember my grandmother cooking over an open fire pit in the backyard.  I remember my father brushing his teeth with what looked to be a twig from a tree.  I remember trekking to my grandfather's fields and gnawing on fresh sugar cane right then and there.  I remember pomegranate fruit, Thums Up soda, well water, and mangoes.  These memories are made all the more special because I would not return to India for another 25 years.  

When I was 32, I traveled with my mom, again to Bodali to visit my paternal grandmother and again to Mumbai to visit my uncle and family.  Aside from the moving inner spiritual experience, what struck me about India this time was the contrast between the poor village and the big city.  The first time around Bombay was slightly more advanced than the village.  This time, Mumbai reflected what I thought a city should be and Bodali didn't seem very different from 25 years ago.  True, many people (not all) had TVs now and many people (not all) had Western bathrooms.  But, life was pretty much the same.

The first time I went, it was an eight hour journey from the Bombay Airport to Bodali.  It was a four hour car ride the second time around, thanks to a more efficient highway system.  In the U.S., it would likely be a three hour drive because although a lot of the trip was on paved highways, the last hour was still on a one lane dirt road.  The kind of road that if a farmer is going by with a buffalo, then you pull over and wait.  It is a long way from the small villages to the towns and cities.  A long way.

During our time there, my mom told me that she and my father keep a bank account in the Bodali bank (which was once founded and managed by my grandfather).  Every year the local elementary school for boys and girls in grades 1st to 7th withdraws funds from my parents' account to buy its students new uniforms for the school year.  This was the elementary school my father attended along with his older brother and younger sister when he was growing up. 

I thought it was admirable that my parents gave back to our little known family village in India.  I admit, though, that I was a little unimpressed that we gave uniforms.  I'm part of the generation that "thinks big" - give a car, get the latest and newest textbooks, order computers.  What good will a uniform do?  

These memories of India and my parents' effort to give back have been on my mind as I read the book Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide by Pulitzer Prize winners Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn.  This is an inspirational book about unlocking the potential of women in many 3rd world countries, such as India, where women's roles have been traditionally minimized.  There are numerous lessons in this book, but I will mention the one that struck a chord with me because it showed me how important it is to target small communities like Bodali and how valuable it is to "think small" sometimes.

Education is the key to increasing the role of girls and women.  Easier said than done because girls drop out when their families do not have money to pay for the schooling or when they are married off early and get pregnant.  Keeping girls in school leads them to earn income and support their countries' economies; thus helping to tackle global poverty.  Educating women means less early age marriage and pregnancies; thus helping to lower the world's birthrates.    

How can we help?  One way, a Kenyan study found that giving girls a new $6 school uniform every 18 months significantly reduced dropout rates and pregnancy rates.

As usual, I have a lot to learn from my parents.

Published! (in Mar '10)

I'm excited to have a story from my Indian Mother's Soul series published in the March 2010 print issue of City Masala magazine (circulation about 15,000, based in Tampa, FL).  Here is an online link to page 24 and below is a screen shot of the page with my story, recipe, and photo of the dish.

I like the typeface and font. They faded the photo edges, which looks great.  Also, they italicized Sheero and the other Indian words - another good idea that I will keep in mind.  I'm glad they kept my title because now I can submit my other recipes to them and have it tie together as an"Indian Mother's Soul" regular column.  Hey, there's something for my query letter when I submit my writing and for my resume when I look for jobs.  I know it's bit dubious, but it counts.

Part of my Project Write On resolution was to work on essays/articles/short stories/features to submit to magazines and such for publication.  Step 1.  Now, I need to get back to my children's books.