Family Democracy

I was six years old when I was introduced to politics.  It was the election year of 1980 and my family lived in Georgia, the home state of one of the candidates, Jimmy Carter.  It was an exciting time for state pride although the other candidate, Ronald Reagan would go on to become president.  I had no idea what a presidential election really meant, but the charged atmosphere was enough to get my precocious mind thinking.

"Daddy, what party are you?"  I asked.
"I am whatever our president is," he replied.

At the time, I did not react to that answer. I was looking to hear one of two responses and I did not understand what he meant. Almost thirty years later, I consider it a beautiful and simple statement that has enormously influenced the way I live my life.

I remember when Reagan was up for re-election and ran a brilliant campaign commercial using the song, "I'm Proud to Be an American," with scenes of "real" America - farms, steel mills, churches and coal miners.  I was ten then and still did not understand the scope of politics, but I was hooked.  I was proud to be an American.  Considering the landslide victory that year, I think much of America felt this way.

Growing up, I had no political affiliation although I followed politics somewhat.  I wasn't a taxpayer and I wasn't old enough to vote, so I did not think it necessary to take a side.  I took what my dad said to heart.  I turned eighteen and started my first year of college in the election year of 1992.  I excitedly registered to vote in our campus mailroom.  Given the choice of party affiliation, I chose "Independent."  Now, don't get me wrong, I went to one of the most liberal colleges in the country and I've only voted in one direction the last seventeen years.  Yet, I valued my Independent status.

I vote in every election.  Sometimes my candidate wins and sometimes a different candidate wins.  The majority has spoken.  As an adult, I have strong opinions on the issues, but I haven't forgotten the lesson from my father.  In fact, I find it quite intellectual to understand and debate the opposite of what one thinks. I find it more rewarding to be compassionate and empathetic to other people's thinking than to bully others into my opinion.  That doesn't stop me from shaking my head in frustration, but I will listen respectfully.

It was not until later that I would understand that my dad was a citizen of his birth country India; thus, he was not able to vote in the 1980 election.  Despite this, he was and is well-versed in politics, current events, international news, and local affairs.  A lack of a vote did not mean apathy.  I've noticed that he takes the diplomatic route rather than the divisive one in most situations, whether presidential politics or family politics.  He has strong opinions, but he methodically weighs the arguments of both sides.  I am proud to be my father's daughter.

First Snow

The little one experienced his first snow last Sunday.  I wish it had come on Xmas Day, but it was still a happy day to take him outside.  One of my aunty's had given him a snow suit when he was born, which we used to dress him up.  She had given us a size 9 months snowsuit, so I had thought we'd never be able to use it but since the little one is truly a little one, he fit into it at 10 1/2 months old.  Of course, he absolutely hated it because it made him immobile and this is not a boy who likes to lie on his back or sit around.  We sunk him into mounds of snow and captured many photo moments.  Sadly, he wasn't enchanted with the snow, but we found him adorable. 

Christmas Gift!

Did you know that "Christmas Gift!", and not "Merry Christmas," was the greeting originally spoken on X-mas morning and that the first person saying it would receive a gift?  

 

My parents had immigrated from India and did not know much of American customs, so we did not begin celebrating the holiday until I was eight.  That's when we moved to Plymouth and were surrounded by  a Christmas hysteria that we had never witnessed before.  I think the snow and cold weather brings the festive spirit alive much more.  I also think that in the 70s, Christmas hadn't peaked in its mass appeal. 

My family was always hazy on the customs.  I never believed in Santa Claus and I am thankful for that.  We had a fake tree and wreath and electric candles for the first few years.  We got our first live tree when I was in high school and I enjoyed decorating it and smelling the fresh pine needles.  I did not like the mess.  I loved Christmas and Hannukah songs.  My mom would cook a special dinner, such as pot roast or meatloaf.  We made Christmas cards.  We went sledding and built snowmen.  I was excited about Christmas break from school. 

The big tradition, the one many people associate with Christmas, of exchanging gifts was one that did not catch on in my family.  We are not gift givers.  We do get thoughtful gifts for each other throughout the year, but we were hot and cold with the idea of Christmas gifts.  Some years we'd wrap up gifts and other years no one would do anything.  Sometimes, we'd tell each other the gift or outright ask someone what to buy, thus killing any surprise element.  I'm happy that I didn't grow up with an emphasis of gifts.  We didn't torture ourselves to finish Christmas shopping during the holiday rush or pick up generic gifts just for the sake of gift giving or believe that this was the only time of the year to do something nice for each other. 

Of course, that doesn't mean I don't appreciate a good Christmas gift.  I may be contradicting myself, but I love getting gifts.  Who doesn't?  Memories of gifts I did receive are very special, especially since I don't need to weave through memories of unused picture frames or cop-out calendars or useless gadgets or compulsory gift cards.

My most memorable Christmas was when I was ten and I woke up to find a wrapped box with my name under the decorated tree.  "Christmas gift!"  I was the only one with a package.  I unwrapped the box and amazingly it was a Cabbage Patch Kid.  A preemie named Ellie Oriana to be exact.  This was when Cabbage Patch Kids were the hot ticket item and I had been on the waiting list for months.  Apparently, the store had called a few days before Christmas and my dad and brother had gone to get it.  They managed to wrap it up and sneak it back tot he house without me seeing or knowing.  I was ecstatic -- words cannot express the joy.  This was the first time I'd ever had a Christmas Day surprise.

Many Christmas days have passed since then and I've received several gifts.  My parents bought me a brand new car at one point.  My preemie doll is somewhere in my parents' basement.  I lugged it to school in the fifth grade and then the fad ended.  That one memory lives on, though, because I remember the huge smiles across my parents' and brother's faces as I unwrapped the box and expressed my shock and delight at what I saw.  They were more excited than I was.  That was my favorite Christmas gift.

"Merry Christmas"

Say You Want A Resolution

 That's not how the lyric goes in my favorite Beatles song, but I'm not harboring any revolutionary tendencies...my liberal heart college days are too far gone.  I have resolved to make resolutions this year, though.  Resolutely.

I have never been one for New Year's resolutions in the past.  A year was too short-term and I was more interested in the long-term.  Perhaps I am victim of my own over-organization, but I always had goals laid out in front of me.  When I started my school years, I strived to get all A's.  Check.  When I was ten, I dreamed of attending an ivy league college.  Check.  When I was eighteen, I said my next step after college would be graduate school.  Check.  After the academics came the goals for career and family.  I realize these were life ambitions and not year end resolutions.  But, I didn't see any habits that needed reforming or new things that needed to be done that I wasn't already doing. 

As I've gotten older, the idea of resolutions has grown on me as a way to reflect upon life and realize more meaningful ways to live life.  Maybe I'm trying to slow things down now that I have a child.  Maybe I'm apprehensive of starting this year without a traditional "job."  Or, maybe it's the MBA in me that views a resolution as a rolling forecast or business plan.  The checklist method was a bit cold, I admit, and my early life did seem to pass in warp speed.

There are the lifelong resolutions to get in shape and eat healthy.  In 2007, I was in wedding and honeymoon planning mode while trying to get a promotion at work  (Do I hear a "check?").  In 2008, I decided to become more organic in my lifestyle, which led to the great purge of most of my personal care products, including my beloved Nars blush in orgasm!  My husband and I also had "Goal Pre-Baby," meaning we dined at Michelin star restaurants (sometimes 2-3x per week), went to the Super Bowl, traveled to six countries outside the US, saw two Broadway shows and one concert, and overall crammed in as many activities as we could.  That was a tiring year!  All 2009 lifestyle changes revolved around parenthood and baby development.  I also made the decision to leave my job and decide what I really want in a career.  Still deciding...

It's the end of 2009 and, finally, I have a real resolution.  One that is a yearlong and will take me through 2010 with results (hopefully) to show in 2011.  I resolve to write three drafts of children's books by the end of the year.  This is a 2010 goal because I'd like to attend the Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators (SCBWI) conference in January 2011 in NYC.  I am even proud that it follows the SMART goal system - specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely.  Again, the MBA in me.

I have been thinking a lot about my writing goals these days.  It's always been a dream to get published someday.  In the past, I'd thought of writing a novel, but recently I've had an interest in children's books.  Never did I think I'd want to write a children's book.  I credit my son for this evolution.  There are not enough multicultural books or teaching materials out there that will help teach my son about his Asian-Indian heritage and that is the topic I've chosen to tackle. My initial goal is three books about Indian holidays. 

To that end, another resolution is to work and work on my writing.  I recently found out that the essay on my mom (a very edited version) was accepted for print publication in a compilation of anecdotes and essays about the influences of the women in families.  Thanks K. for blogging about this opportunity. Next year, I want to write essays/articles that I hope to submit to magazines, websites, books, and anywhere.  There is a thrill that comes with seeing your byline.  I always got a kick out of writing for my college and b-school papers. Even if nothing comes of this, I am excited to have a true resolution.

So begins "Project Write On."  Can't blame the MBA on that one, just an inherent nerdiness.