From Life to Death

Three nights ago, I was reminded that life and death are just moments apart.  My aunt succumbed to breast cancer just three nights ago.  She wasn't a related aunt, but rather a good family friend of my parents' whom I have known since my parents moved to New Jersey a decade ago.  And a decade ago was exactly when Aunty learned of her first cancer diagnosis. 

She was in her mid-forties then and her younger child was ten years old.  She underwent chemo and switched to a holistic diet, one that all those Indian gurus preach about on Zee TV.  In the midst of her treatment, her hair fell out and she wore a floppy hat to cover her bare head.  That is around the time that I met her.  I liked the family - Aunty, Uncle and their son.  They were genuine and kind people albeit a bit FOBish.  I stress genuine because a lot of the Indian Jersey crowd is not so genuine.  A lot are fake and quite judgmental.  But, I liked this family immediately and I consider myself finely attuned to the fake factor since I did not grow up surrounded by it.

I saw them here and there over the years.  They were always very supportive of my parents and showed up to my engagement party and wedding, as well as, those of of my brother.  They seemed slightly outcast from the Indian community.  I'm not sure why that is.  They had an estranged daughter that I knew a little about.  I know she had joined the military at 18 and left home.  She ended up in Hawaii where she married her boyfriend while already pregnant.  I do not believe Uncle or Aunty had met their grandchild.  I do not pretend to know what happens in a family behind closed doors but I know that the family did not have much money and did not exhibit that "cool" factor.  Perhaps the daughter needed to get away from New Jersey.  I hope she found her peace.

Aunty fought the cancer and recovered.  My mom saw her three or four years ago at the Indian picnic in Menlo Park and Aunty's thick, black hair had grown to her waist.  She thrived.  She was a cancer survivor.  Strong and proud.

About two years ago, the cancer came back.  It came back more aggressively and vigorously than before.  There was no fighting it this time.  It had spread too quickly.

A year ago, my son was born and I went to visit my parents when he was one month old.  My parents called four or five family friends to come visit the baby that weekend.  Aunty and Uncle showed up the next day and they brought him a gift despite the short notice.  My son was sleeping most of the time but they stayed to catch a few glimpses of his awake time.  None of the other friends came to visit that weekend.   That was the last time I saw Aunty and I remember thinking how nice it was of them to stop by and spend the day and once again show how genuine and kind they were.

Three weeks ago, Aunty was fine.  She was happy and seemingly healthy when my parents saw her then. Three weeks.  Her throat constricted and she was unable to eat within a week.  She became weak and achy.  She lost her ability to speak.  The glare from the lights hurt so much that Uncle taped over her eyes to keep them shut.  She was bedridden and remained at home, occasionally visited by a hospice worker.  A hospital seemed senseless because the family was just awaiting her death at that point.  Her throat constricted even more and she was unable to drink any water.  Slow and painful.  Cancer is cruel.

Three nights ago, my mother visited and Aunty hadn't had water for three days.  She was able to communicate only with her hands.  My mom arrived at  4PM, left at 7PM, and Aunty passed away at 11PM.  Three weeks from life to death.

Smells Like Team Spirit

I am officially part of the team at City Masala Magazine!  As I mentioned before, this is great resume filler and good for my query letters when I'm submitting my writing...and kinda cool.

My bio on the site:

Alpa is a mother, wife, Indian-American, and travel enthusiast.  Those four aspects of her life greatly influence her aspiring writing career from articles and essays to short stories and children's books.  Born in New Jersey, she has lived in seven U.S. states and traveled to six continents and twenty-five countries.  In addition to this nomadic lifestyle, she draws inspiration from her heritage from Gujarat, India, and her passion for exploring different locales and customs.  She studied economics at Brown University and business at Columbia University.  She thanks her parents for encouraging her along the non-traditional paths of life and CityMasala for promoting interest in the South Asian culture.

Published! (in Apr '10)

My monthly gig is in full swing and my Upma recipe was published this month.  This one again comes from a past blog.  I wrote more in the story and description this time; thus, my 'recipe corner' warranted a full page in the magazine.  ha!  Beginning next month, I'll be submitting new recipes.

Brevity, Wit, and the Birthplace of William Shakespeare

I visited England for the first time in the summer of 1997.  I was changing jobs, moving from CT to San Francisco, and thus, free for a three week vacation with my parents to visit our relatives near Birmingham.

About an hour from my my mom's eldest sister and family is Stratford-upon-Avon, famous for being the birthplace of William Shakespeare. The "Shakespearience" is a trip back to sixteenth-century Tudor England with a visit to the house on Henley Street where Shakespeare was born and the Holy Trinity Church where he married Anne Hathaway.  In the recreated village, many of Shakespeare's fictional characters stroll through the house and grounds and act out beloved scenes.  Although touristy, the experience gives insight into what life was like when the famous bard was a child.  I hope to go back someday with my family.
 

I did not fully appreciate the influence of Shakespeare when I visited.  I'd struggled through a few plays in high school, such as Romeo and Juliet and Macbeth.  Shakespeare is not easy! I'd watched a few movie versions, such as Hamlet and Roman Polanski's interpretation of Macbeth (umm, nude Lady Macbeth?).  But, since the days of high school, I've gained a high regard for not only Shakespeare's high brow wit and still relevant prose, but also, the profundity of his impact on people of all walks of life. Who hasn't quoted a line from Shakespeare, whether knowingly or unknowingly?  The man affected theater, literature, and the English language.  Not to mention his influence on novelists and poets and movie scripts.  The extent of his genius is admirable, especially to an aspiring writer.

FYI...My college friend W schooled me on the grammar rule regarding quotation marks adjacent to periods and commas:

• American style:  commas and periods are almost always placed inside closing quotation marks.
• British style:  include within quotation marks punctuation marks that appeared in the quoted material, but otherwise to place punctuation outside the closing quotation marks.

Below I've selected some of  Shakespeare's  best-loved quotes.

Sonnet 18
"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date".

Hamlet
To be, or not to be: that is the question". - (Act III, Scene I).
"Neither a borrower nor a lender be; For loan oft loses both itself and friend, and borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry". - (Act I, Scene III).
"This above all: to thine own self be true". - (Act I, Scene III).
"The lady doth protest too much, methinks". - (Act III, Scene II).
"A little more than kin, and less than kind". - (Act I, Scene II).
"Brevity is the soul of wit". - (Act II, Scene II).

As You Like It
"All the world 's a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts" - (Act II, Scene VII).
"Can one desire too much of a good thing?" - (Act IV, Scene I).
"How bitter a thing it is to look into happiness through another man's eyes!" - (Act V, Scene II).
"The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool". - (Act V, Scene I).

King Richard III
"Now is the winter of our discontent". - (Act I, Scene I).
"A horse! a horse! my kingdom for a horse!" - (Act V, Scene IV).
"Conscience is but a word that cowards use, devised at first to keep the strong in awe". - (Act V, Scene III).
"So wise so young, they say, do never live long". - (Act III, Scene I).
"Off with his head!" - (Act III, Scene IV).

Romeo and Juliet
"O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?" - (Act II, Scene II).
"It is the east, and Juliet is the sun". - (Act II, Scene II).
"Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow." - (Act II, Scene II).
"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet". - (Act II, Scene II).
"O that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek!" - (Act II, Scene II).

The Merchant of Venice
"But love is blind, and lovers cannot see".
"If you prick us, do we not bleed? if you tickle us, do we not laugh? if you poison us, do we not die? and if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?" - (Act III, Scene I).

The Merry Wives of Windsor
"Why, then the world 's mine oyster" - (Act II, Scene II).
"This is the short and the long of it". - (Act II, Scene II).

Measure for Measure
"Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt". - (Act I, Scene IV).
"Some rise by sin, and some by virtue fall". - (Act II, Scene I).
"The miserable have no other medicine but only hope". - (Act III, Scene I).

King Henry IV, Part I
"He will give the devil his due". - (Act I, Scene II).
"The better part of valour is discretion". - (Act V, Scene IV).

King Henry IV, Part II
"He hath eaten me out of house and home". - (Act II, Scene I).

King Henry IV, Part III
"The smallest worm will turn, being trodden on". - (Act II, Scene II).

King Henry the Sixth, Part I
"Delays have dangerous ends". - (Act III, Scene II).
"Of all base passions, fear is the most accursed". - (Act V, Scene II).

King Henry the Sixth, Part II
"The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers". - (Act IV, Scene II).

King Henry the Sixth, Part III
"Having nothing, nothing can he lose".- (Act III, Scene III).

Timon of Athens
"We have seen better days". - (Act IV, Scene II).

 Julius Caesar
"Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears; I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him". - (Act III, Scene II).
"But, for my own part, it was Greek to me". - (Act I, Scene II).
"Et tu, Brute!" - (Act III, Scene I).

Macbeth
"There 's daggers in men's smiles". - (Act II, Scene III).
"what 's done is done".- (Act III, Scene II).
"I dare do all that may become a man; Who dares do more is none". - (Act I, Scene VII).
"Fair is foul, and foul is fair". - (Act I, Scene I).
"I bear a charmed life". - (Act V, Scene VIII).
"Yet do I fear thy nature; It is too full o' the milk of human kindness." - (Act I, Scene V).
"Will all great Neptune's ocean wash this blood clean from my hand? No, this my hand will rather the multitudinous seas incarnadine, making the green one red" - (Act II, Scene II).
"Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and cauldron bubble." - (Act IV, Scene I).
"Out, damned spot! out, I say!" - (Act V, Scene I)..
"All the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand." - (Act V, Scene I).
"Look like the innocent flower, but be the serpent under 't." - (Act I, Scene V).
"Is this a dagger which I see before me, The handle toward my hand?" - (Act II, Scene I).
"Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more: it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing." - (Act V, Scene V).

King Lear
"My love's more richer than my tongue". - (Act I, Scene I).
"Nothing will come of nothing." - (Act I, Scene I).
"Have more than thou showest, speak less than thou knowest, lend less than thou owest". - (Act I, Scene IV).

Othello
"‘T’is neither here nor there." - (Act IV, Scene III).
"The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief". - (Act I, Scene III).

Antony and Cleopatra
"My salad days, when I was green in judgment." - (Act I, Scene V).

Cymbeline
"The game is up." - (Act III, Scene III).

Twelfth Night
"Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them". - (Act II, Scene V).
"Love sought is good, but giv'n unsought is better" . - (Act III, Scene I).

The Tempest
"We are such stuff as dreams are made on, rounded with a little sleep".

King Henry the Fifth
"Men of few words are the best men". - (Act III, Scene II).

A Midsummer Night's Dream
"The course of true love never did run smooth". - (Act I, Scene I).

Much Ado About Nothing
"Everyone can master a grief but he that has it". - (Act III, Scene II).

Titus Andronicus
"These words are razors to my wounded heart". - (Act I, Scene I).

 Taming of the Shrew
"Out of the jaws of death". - (Act III, Scene IV).

Postcard: Washington D.C.

I've been to Washington D.C. maybe eight or nine times.  Wow, I had no idea I have gone there that many times!  The first trip, the one I don't recall, was with my family when I was a toddler.  I went with my classmates when my junior high school made a big D.C. trip in the 8th grade. That was an exciting trip because it was with friends and no family!  I went many times over the years to visit college friends who were living there.  One of my college friends grew up there and hosted me during a job interview weekend and two other friends are diplomats for the State Dept and travel in and out of D.C. fairly frequently.  The last two times, I went with my husband pre-baby.  The photos in this blog are from our 4th of July trip in 2007.

There is a lot to see in D.C. and most of the sites are free.  I have visited the landmarks (Lincoln Memorial, Washington Monument, Jefferson Memorial, Memorial Bridge, Vietnam Veterans Memorial, WWII Memorial, Korean War Veterans Memorial).  I have seen government buildings - the White House, U.S. Treasury Department, U.S. Capitol Building. I have walked around the National Zoo and the Arlington Cemetery.  I have hung out in Georgetown and Dupont Circle.  I have eaten great Ethiopian food and Korean food.  I teared up at the Holocaust Museum and laughed through the International Spy Museum.  I have gazed at the cherry blossoms in the spring.  I have been frustrated and baffled by the road grid and traffic circles.

What strikes me the most about D.C. is the awe that you feel when walking downtown or driving around the beltway.  It is always breathtaking to me to see the Washington Monument or the tops of the Jefferson and Lincoln Memorials from no matter where you are downtown.  No matter what your feelings toward those in office, you can't help but be amazed by the history and the formation of this country.  I would not want to live here (the driving!!), but I love to visit again and again.

 U.S. Treasury Department

 White House North Lawn

 White House South Lawn

 Washington Monument

 Washington Monument as seen from the Lincoln Memorial

 Lincoln Monument

 Lincoln's Gettysburg Address

 Vietnam Veterans Memorial

 WWII Memorial

 Lincoln Memorial

 Korean War Veterans Memorial

 Walking over the Arlington Memorial Bridge

 Arlington Cemetery

 tombs of JFK and Jackie Kennedy

 Tomb of the Unknown Soldier