a.m. postscript

I Want Water Park

2011-07-28T13:01:00.001-04:00

Last December, we discovered N's love (obsession) of water parks. We visited a Beaches resort in the Caribbean and N was in heaven in the pirate themed toddler area. We'd never seen him dance and smile so much. He took hours long naps each afternoon from exhaustion and then woke up ready to head back out to the water park. It was a nice surprise since he had hated his swim lessons from the previous summer. I guess the deep water of a pool was intimidating, but slides and water fountains are pure fun.

Soon after the trip, we began hearing the request, "I want water park." This led to me devising a summer schedule full of water park and pool activity. The summer kicked off with a Memorial Day Weekend trip to the Catskills. I chose Fishkill, NY specifically because of the water park in the town. See above map for a look at the fabulous Splashdown Beach in Fishkill. The toddler area had a Bob the Builder theme so for the week leading to our vacation, we inundated N with the cartoon to get him excited. The toddler area was a bit tame for a two year old, but down the path was the coconut pool, which had more advanced slides and waterfalls. A couple of weeks later, we were in Myrtle Beach for father's day weekend and fortunately our hotel had a toddler pool with great waterfalls and water fountain structures, as well as easy beach access. It was so great that we didn't need to visit the local water parks. We convinced N that the pool was in fact the water park. ;) Next, a July 4th trip to Six Flags Hurricane Adventure was derailed by rain. Luckily, a trip to Atlantis was scheduled for mid-July and we hope to visit a local water park in August. Phew!

This passion for water parks must stem from N's overall love of water. He drinks an inordinate amount of water every day and this is not just restricted to his spring water filled sippy cups. He stops at every water fountain, he drinks out of sinks and bathtubs, he tries to bend down and drink from puddles (sometimes we are to slow to stop him!), he drinks from other people's water glasses, etc. I prefer this love of water to sugary drinks, but even I cannot believe how much water he drinks. Here's to H₂O!

Published! About Her

2011-04-02T10:33:00.000-04:00

Available here: About Her

Today, I am announcing the second book publication that has included my work. It seems like I have been busy but I submitted my story for this over a year ago. I am very excited about this because I submitted my story about my mom. My mom happened to be visiting when I received my copies and so, I was able to share it with her immediately. What a great early Mother's Day present.

This book features about 65 authors, again many of whom are novice writers, who have written memories or anecdotes of a special, influential woman in their lives. There are a lot of very touching, meaningful stories in the book and I am very proud to have been included.

Thanks to the editors, Josephine Carubia and Michele Glorie Palmer, for their wonderful work in creating and publishing this book.

This is fun! I am on the search for book #3.

Published! Indian Voices, Volume One

2011-03-30T20:09:00.001-04:00

Available here: Indian Voices, Volume One on the website tradearchitects.com

It has been a looong time since I have written anything. Nothing like getting a story published in a book to get a person motivated again. I am not thrilled about the fiction story that I wrote for the compilation, but I am thrilled to have my first book publication on the shelf.

The collection features short stories, poems, and travelogues from 66 Indian writers from around the globe. There is no general theme to the pieces rather the connection is that we are all of Indian ethnicity and many of us are novice writers who have been published for the first time. Many thanks to Jasmine D'Costa who worked tirelessly selecting and editing all of the works and who is now promoting the book around the clock.

I am very thankful for this opportunity. I submitted my story months ago and it is not until the book has been published that I truly feel the excitement. Congratulations to all of the included authors!!

Published! in Sept '10

2010-10-03T12:55:00.000-04:00

I had my essay "Guilt Free Diet" published in the September 2010 issue of CityMasala. Here is the link.
I have been writing monthly for the magazine but I am happy to have a non-recipe published there. I feel more like a writer/contributor now.

Wordsmith

2010-08-22T21:05:00.008-04:00

For the past three months, my husband has continued to say that our son knows "about 10-15 words," which was the count at 15 months. I realized that I needed to provide an update; otherwise, my son will be stuck at "about 10-15 words" for years.

Here is what I wrote at 15 months. Top words : Mama, Uh-oh, Dada, hot-hot-hot, banana-na, off, up, clock (for clock and watches), woof (for not just dog, but any animal), bubble, ball, box and possibly the words "I don't know." He understands a lot more, such as "No!," which he hears a lot and simple directions such as "pick up that toy" or "turn on the tv."

Update (at 18 months)

In addition to 1. Mama, 2. Dada, 3. hot, 4. Uh-oh, 5. banana, 6. off, 7. up, 8. clock, 9. woof, 10. bubble, 11. ball, 12. box

13. clap (claps hands while saying)
14. ice

15. baba (for baby and in reference to his younger cousin)

16. vroom vroom (for car)

17. beep-beep

18. night night

19. No

20. hat

21. apple

22. diaper

23. wallet

24. heavy

25. whoops

26. Ba (for his maternal grandmother)

27. his playmate Alex's name

28. his cousin B's name

29. his nanny Monica's name

30. the sentence "I love you"
31. car
32. door
33. brella (for umbrella)
34. Papa (for his father)
35. eyes
36. one-two-three
37. A-E-I-O-U
38. book
39. wawa (for water)
40. wow
41. cloud
42. "lights on"
43. tree
44. dance
45. ear
46. yes

Raising A Giver, a lesson from my father

2010-07-18T21:45:00.000-04:00

I have a special affinity for the Disabled Veterans Association. Although I respect veterans, this is not the organization my friends might associate with me. I have my father to thank for this attachment.

When I was seven or eight years old, my father sent in a donation to the DVA on my behalf. He continued to give small donations to them here and there over several years and always under my name. I did not know anything about the association nor did I give it much thought. I did, however, love the address labels with my name that the organization sent me and even the cheap mix of greeting cards that sometimes came in the place of address labels. I was eight and I just enjoyed receiving mail of any kind.

I don't know why my dad did this. Perhaps he thought it was a worthwhile charity. Perhaps he got a "please donate" mailing from them and thought it would be cute to send it in my name. Perhaps it was to include in his list of charities for tax purposes. Perhaps he did not put any thought into it.

I don't believe that it was his purpose to teach me a lesson about giving, but that was the unintentional result. That simple act of sending a few dollars to a randomly chosen charity has made me a giver. Not only did I become a giver, but also, I gained a passion for giving that stays with me today. No matter what my salary has been, I have always given a portion of it to various charities.

Over the years I've given to the National Parks Assoc, a women's collective in the state of Gujarat, a girls' school in Andhra Pradesh, the New York Public Library, Operation Santa Claus, Nothing But Net, Doctors Without Borders, March of Dimes, One campaign, Salvation Army, Feed Project, the Girl Scouts (umm, cookies), my alma maters (does that count?), and the many races/marathons/iron mans that my friends have run for charity. When that didn't seem satisfying enough, I devoted my time. I was a mentor to an 8 year old, I volunteered at a domestic abuse helpline, I ran various races, I painted playgrounds, I helped out with the NY marathon, I reigned in rude high school kids at Derek Jeter's kids charity (long, hot story!). Wow, I didn't realize how difficult it would be to recall everything. My dad deserves all the credit.

As a parent, I struggle with how to pass onto my son the correct morals and beliefs. How do you teach someone to be a good person? Whenever it seems overwhelming, I think back to the simple lessons from my father. I didn't get my beliefs from a lesson plan. I got them from a role model.

Guilt Free Diet

2010-07-15T12:22:00.002-04:00

Two months ago, I drastically changed my diet...for good. I add the "for good" because I have made the healthy diet pledge before and then gone back to my hamburger-pizza-cupcake eating ways. This time, I have vowed to stop eating all meat except fish and to attempt to stop all dairy consumption. I say "attempt" for the latter because I have stopped using dairy in the home, but have found it nearly impossible to do so outside the home. Yes, I am not trying hard enough. Eventually, I will be strong enough to go all the way and stop consuming fish and dairy as well, but for now my main goal remains to relieve years of guilty eating.

I have never wanted to be a vegetarian. I loved meat. I ate meat at least once a day. I dismissed the whole idea of vegetarianism. Perhaps it is because my mom has cooked such sumptuous chicken curry and juicy Thanksgiving turkey and mouth-watering spaghetti bolognese my entire life. This is ironic because my mom was a strict vegetarian while growing up in India. She didn't eat eggs but did drink buffalo milk. That changed after she married my father at the age of 23. In the beginning, she was cooking chicken and fish without tasting it, but eventually she succumbed to the omnivore's ways. It is hard to resist the pull of slow smoked pulled pork. When my brother and I were in grade school, beef was introduced into the household. We were full-fledged Americans at that point. mmm, McDonald's.

I gave up beef when I went away to college. I had no religious or political or health reasons for doing so. I just thought it sounded right. This was not difficult because there were a lot of food choices at our dining hall. Every week there was an international themed menu, as well as, an odd-looking, crusted vegan bar, which I stayed away from due to its foreign nature. My anti-beef pledge lasted five years. A year out of college, I was a barbeque in San Francisco and a friend offered me a bite of his hamburger by waving it in my face. I replied, "I don't eat beef," so he promptly and respectfully moved the burger away. However, the smell or look must have have been too much because I said, "I'll take a bite." Thus, began a two-week beef binge during which I ate burgers, meatloaf, roast beef, and filet mignon nonstop. I could not believe how much I had missed the taste of beef. Although I didn't eat it often, it was back on the menu.

If I couldn't eat healthy while living in San Francisco where people linger for hours over meals consisting of alfalfa sprouts and avocados, I certainly was not going to change when I moved to New York City where steakhouses are the favored restaurants. But, soon after moving to New York City, I read Fast Food Nation and promptly stopped eating beef...for four months. We all know that the cattle industry is doing disgusting things and it certainly smacks you right int he face when you read about it, but then we return to our normal lives and avert our eyes.

Fast forward through many years of meat consumption to my now husband's and my gluttonous engagement trip to Australia. We did not and could not control ourselves from indulging in Barramundi, John Dory, fresh grass-fed beef, even kangaroo meat (as despicable as that made me feel). We returned home and vowed to get fit for the wedding. That led to us drawing up a "DON'T" list of foods, including beef, poultry, pork, pasta, bread, rice, potatoes, and desserts. Needless to say, we were fit and trim for our wedding thanks to this low-carb and fish and veggie friendly diet. That lasted about two days into our honeymoon. I came back ten pounds heavier and a back on the meat bandwagon.

About three months ago, both my husband and I read Eating Animals by Jonathan Safran Foer. It was eye-opening and emotional in a way previous books on the topic had not been. The author mentions that he faced the reality of his diet when he was expecting his first child and that is what hit home with me. I spend and inordinate amount of effort and hours every week in providing my son a remarkable healthy diet for a 17 month old. His weekly diet consists of quinoa, barley, brown rice, lentils, mung beans, every bean you can imagine, and steamed vegetables. I do not even use seasonings apart from low sodium vegetable broth once in a while. One mother came up to us as I was feeding him quinoa, zucchini, and avocado and stared in disbelief. The kid made a yucky face when I tried to give him chocolate milk once. He spit out a french fry the one time I tried that. If it's possible for me to raise a healthy eater, it is certainly possible for me to be a healthy eater.

Even with my recent diet changes, my goal was not to become a vegetarian or vegan although the slow changes I've been making do seem to be leading me to that enlightened path. The practices of factory farming are horrific for the animals and unhealthy for us consumers. I cannot live with such unconscionable guilt. When I look at my son, I see that I do care about what we are putting in our mouths. Not only do I care about eating well, I know how to eat well.

I can do with a little less guilt in my life.

July Recipe

2010-07-13T09:34:00.000-04:00

I recycled my Chicken Curry post (the original recipe ...for the Indian Mother's Soul). I have to admit here that the photo does not correspond to the recipe. I had photos of the real dish but those were on my parents' camera and I had a deadline to meet. Check out the July link below.

http://www.citymasala.com/July2010/ChickenCurryRecipe.pdf

Milestone: 15 months

2010-05-28T10:50:00.001-04:00

We're just a week away from 16 months so I wanted to jot down notes from now.

Now, that N has become a proficient walker, he's moved on to babbling non stop. Top words : Mama, Uh-oh, Dada, hot-hot-hot, banana-na, off, up, clock (for clock and watches), woof (for not just dog, but any animal), bubble, ball, box and possibly the words "I don't know." He understands a lot more, such as "No!," which he hears a lot and simple directions such as "pick up that toy" or "turn on the tv."

He's learning to get us to do what he wants by grabbing our finger and dragging us over to the kitchen windows or counter (for example) and saying "up" to get up and explore. He'll run to me crying, grab my hand, and make me go where he wants. It's a great life when everyone does what you want!

He loves to laugh and make us laugh. He walks and jumps around on the bed. Then, he likes to throw his head back and fall backwards so that one of us catches him. This is a fun "game" to him.

His favorite TV shows: Yo Gabba Gabba and Blue's Clues. That's all we allow although we'll throw in Sesame Street or Thomas the Train to mix it up once in a while. He shouldn't watch any TV at all; however, you do whatever it takes to get him to eat.

He's following a mostly vegetarian diet. He hasn't taken to the texture of meat, which is fine with me because he is eating incredibly healthy by avoiding meat. He eats tofu, quinoa, barley, wild rice, brown rice, couscous and adds in mung beans, all green vegetables and assorted other vegetables, fruits (bananas, mangos, watermelon, oranges, apples) to complete a healthy meal. We were at a birthday party last week and one mother came up to me amazed that I was feeding him quinoa and avocado while the older kids ate their pizza. She was further incredulous that I don't season it with artificial flavors or spices to make it more enticing.

Maachli for the Indian Mother’s Soul

2010-05-07T16:01:00.000-04:00

Check out CityMasala.com for the May 2010 magazine issue with my Maachli recipe.

Fish, or maachali in Hindi, has long been considered “brain food.” What desi doesn’t want to be smart?? Fish is low in fat, high in protein, and full of omega 3 fatty acids that help reduce the risk of heart disease and lower cholesterol. Fish is popular in many Indian cuisines, especially in Goa, Assam, Kerala and Bengal. My family mostly ate chicken when I was growing up, but in the last couple of years I have witnessed the health benefits of what even some vegetarians call the “fruit of the sea.” During our pre-wedding diet, my husband and I abstained from meat and ate only fish and veggies. Not only did we trim down in time for the wedding, but we also had increased energy, both physical and mental. When I was pregnant, I once again embraced the benefits of fish and omega 3 for proper development of my baby’s brain and nerves. Fish has become a mainstay in my family’s diet.

This recipe version is for the mild tasting haddock, but good substitutes are cod, tilapia, flounder, or catfish. These are all low-mercury fish. Gujaratis often top fried fish with a tomato sauce, so I’ve included the preparation for a simple sauce. Serve the dish hot over basmati or brown rice and eat with fresh steamed vegetables of your choosing for a filling meal.

Ingredients

For Fried Fish:

1 1/2 lb haddock fish fillets
1 tsp garlic paste
1 tsp ginger paste
1/2 tsp ground turmeric
1 tsp red chili powder
1 tsp ground coriander
1/2 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp lemon juice
1/2 tsp salt
vegetable oil for frying

For Tomato Sauce:

vegetable oil for frying
1 tsp mustard seeds
1 chopped onion
1 cup tomato puree (or use a 14 oz can)
1/2 tsp ginger paste
1/2 tsp garam masala
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
chopped fresh coriander for garnish

Preparation

Wash the fish fillets in cold water and dry on paper towel.
Combine the garlic, ginger, ground turmeric, chilli powder, ground coriander, ground cumin, lemon juice, and salt in a medium bowl.
Brush the spice mix onto both sides of each fillet and marinate in the refrigerator for 2 hours to allow the flavors to penetrate.
Heat 2 tbsp of oil in a medium frying pan.
Fry the fish fillets, about 5 minutes on each side, and set aside.
Heat some more oil in a pan.
When hot, add mustard seeds.
When seeds crackle, add onions and saute for 1-2 minutes.
Pour in the tomato puree and cook for three minutes.
Add ginger, garam masala, salt and pepper according to taste. Turn off heat.
Pour the sauce over the fish. Garnish with chopped coriander.

Published! in Khabar Magazine

2010-05-01T20:15:00.001-04:00

I am happy to report that my latest published article is available in the May 2010 issue of Khabar Magazine (circulation 27,000 + online), a monthly magazine for the Indian community in Georgia and surrounding areas.
Click here for the online article.

I wrote this article as a Mother's Day gift for my mom. I re-purposed an old business school essay and re-wrote it before submitting. The magazine edited it, also. My only gripe is that one of the magazine edits changed the meaning of an event from my mom's story. Otherwise, I was very happy that the edits sharpened my essay. The magazine version includes a photo of my mom and me taken in 2003 at my cousin's wedding in England. I can't wait to get my print copy so I can give it to my mom.

From Life to Death

2010-04-16T20:31:00.004-04:00

Three nights ago, I was reminded that life and death are just moments apart. My aunt succumbed to breast cancer just three nights ago. She wasn't a related aunt, but rather a good family friend of my parents' whom I have known since my parents moved to New Jersey a decade ago. And a decade ago was exactly when Aunty learned of her first cancer diagnosis.

She was in her mid-forties then and her younger child was ten years old. She underwent chemo and switched to a holistic diet, one that all those Indian gurus preach about on Zee TV. In the midst of her treatment, her hair fell out and she wore a floppy hat to cover her bare head. That is around the time that I met her. I liked the family - Aunty, Uncle and their son. They were genuine and kind people albeit a bit FOBish. I stress genuine because a lot of the Indian Jersey crowd is not so genuine. A lot are fake and quite judgmental. But, I liked this family immediately and I consider myself finely attuned to the fake factor since I did not grow up surrounded by it.

I saw them here and there over the years. They were always very supportive of my parents and showed up to my engagement party and wedding, as well as, those of of my brother. They seemed slightly outcast from the Indian community. I'm not sure why that is. They had an estranged daughter that I knew a little about. I know she had joined the military at 18 and left home. She ended up in Hawaii where she married her boyfriend while already pregnant. I do not believe Uncle or Aunty had met their grandchild. I do not pretend to know what happens in a family behind closed doors but I know that the family did not have much money and did not exhibit that "cool" factor. Perhaps the daughter needed to get away from New Jersey. I hope she found her peace.

Aunty fought the cancer and recovered. My mom saw her three or four years ago at the Indian picnic in Menlo Park and Aunty's thick, black hair had grown to her waist. She thrived. She was a cancer survivor. Strong and proud.

About two years ago, the cancer came back. It came back more aggressively and vigorously than before. There was no fighting it this time. It had spread too quickly.

A year ago, my son was born and I went to visit my parents when he was one month old. My parents called four or five family friends to come visit the baby that weekend. Aunty and Uncle showed up the next day and they brought him a gift despite the short notice. My son was sleeping most of the time but they stayed to catch a few glimpses of his awake time. None of the other friends came to visit that weekend. That was the last time I saw Aunty and I remember thinking how nice it was of them to stop by and spend the day and once again show how genuine and kind they were.

Three weeks ago, Aunty was fine. She was happy and seemingly healthy when my parents saw her then. Three weeks. Her throat constricted and she was unable to eat within a week. She became weak and achy. She lost her ability to speak. The glare from the lights hurt so much that Uncle taped over her eyes to keep them shut. She was bedridden and remained at home, occasionally visited by a hospice worker. A hospital seemed senseless because the family was just awaiting her death at that point. Her throat constricted even more and she was unable to drink any water. Slow and painful. Cancer is cruel.

Three nights ago, my mother visited and Aunty hadn't had water for three days. She was able to communicate only with her hands. My mom arrived at 4PM, left at 7PM, and Aunty passed away at 11PM. Three weeks from life to death.

Smells Like Team Spirit

2010-04-11T20:37:00.000-04:00

I am officially part of the team at City Masala Magazine! As I mentioned before, this is great resume filler and good for my query letters when I'm submitting my writing...and kinda cool.

My bio on the site:

Alpa is a mother, wife, Indian-American, and travel enthusiast. Those four aspects of her life greatly influence her aspiring writing career from articles and essays to short stories and children's books. Born in New Jersey, she has lived in seven U.S. states and traveled to six continents and twenty-five countries. In addition to this nomadic lifestyle, she draws inspiration from her heritage from Gujarat, India, and her passion for exploring different locales and customs. She studied economics at Brown University and business at Columbia University. She thanks her parents for encouraging her along the non-traditional paths of life and CityMasala for promoting interest in the South Asian culture.

Published! (in Apr '10)

2010-04-11T10:40:00.000-04:00

My monthly gig is in full swing and my Upma recipe was published this month. This one again comes from a past blog. I wrote more in the story and description this time; thus, my 'recipe corner' warranted a full page in the magazine. ha! Beginning next month, I'll be submitting new recipes.

Brevity, Wit, and the Birthplace of William Shakespeare

2010-04-09T21:04:00.004-04:00

I visited England for the first time in the summer of 1997. I was changing jobs, moving from CT to San Francisco, and thus, free for a three week vacation with my parents to visit our relatives near Birmingham.

About an hour from my my mom's eldest sister and family is Stratford-upon-Avon, famous for being the birthplace of William Shakespeare. The "Shakespearience" is a trip back to sixteenth-century Tudor England with a visit to the house on Henley Street where Shakespeare was born and the Holy Trinity Church where he married Anne Hathaway. In the recreated village, many of Shakespeare's fictional characters stroll through the house and grounds and act out beloved scenes. Although touristy, the experience gives insight into what life was like when the famous bard was a child. I hope to go back someday with my family.

I did not fully appreciate the influence of Shakespeare when I visited. I'd struggled through a few plays in high school, such as Romeo and Juliet and Macbeth. Shakespeare is not easy! I'd watched a few movie versions, such as Hamlet and Roman Polanski's interpretation of Macbeth (umm, nude Lady Macbeth?). But, since the days of high school, I've gained a high regard for not only Shakespeare's high brow wit and still relevant prose, but also, the profundity of his impact on people of all walks of life. Who hasn't quoted a line from Shakespeare, whether knowingly or unknowingly? The man affected theater, literature, and the English language. Not to mention his influence on novelists and poets and movie scripts. The extent of his genius is admirable, especially to an aspiring writer.

FYI...My college friend W schooled me on the grammar rule regarding quotation marks adjacent to periods and commas:

American style: commas and periods are almost always placed inside closing quotation marks.
British style: include within quotation marks punctuation marks that appeared in the quoted material, but otherwise to place punctuation outside the closing quotation marks.

Below I've selected some of Shakespeare's best-loved quotes.

Sonnet 18
"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date".

Hamlet
To be, or not to be: that is the question". - (Act III, Scene I).
"Neither a borrower nor a lender be; For loan oft loses both itself and friend, and borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry". - (Act I, Scene III).
"This above all: to thine own self be true". - (Act I, Scene III).
"The lady doth protest too much, methinks". - (Act III, Scene II).
"A little more than kin, and less than kind". - (Act I, Scene II).
"Brevity is the soul of wit". - (Act II, Scene II).

As You Like It
"All the world 's a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts" - (Act II, Scene VII).
"Can one desire too much of a good thing?" - (Act IV, Scene I).
"How bitter a thing it is to look into happiness through another man's eyes!" - (Act V, Scene II).
"The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool". - (Act V, Scene I).

King Richard III
"Now is the winter of our discontent". - (Act I, Scene I).
"A horse! a horse! my kingdom for a horse!" - (Act V, Scene IV).
"Conscience is but a word that cowards use, devised at first to keep the strong in awe". - (Act V, Scene III).
"So wise so young, they say, do never live long". - (Act III, Scene I).
"Off with his head!" - (Act III, Scene IV).

Romeo and Juliet
"O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?" - (Act II, Scene II).
"It is the east, and Juliet is the sun". - (Act II, Scene II).
"Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow." - (Act II, Scene II).
"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet". - (Act II, Scene II).
"O that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek!" - (Act II, Scene II).

The Merchant of Venice
"But love is blind, and lovers cannot see".
"If you prick us, do we not bleed? if you tickle us, do we not laugh? if you poison us, do we not die? and if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?" - (Act III, Scene I).

The Merry Wives of Windsor
"Why, then the world 's mine oyster" - (Act II, Scene II).
"This is the short and the long of it". - (Act II, Scene II).

Measure for Measure
"Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt". - (Act I, Scene IV).
"Some rise by sin, and some by virtue fall". - (Act II, Scene I).
"The miserable have no other medicine but only hope". - (Act III, Scene I).

King Henry IV, Part I
"He will give the devil his due". - (Act I, Scene II).
"The better part of valour is discretion". - (Act V, Scene IV).

King Henry IV, Part II
"He hath eaten me out of house and home". - (Act II, Scene I).

King Henry IV, Part III
"The smallest worm will turn, being trodden on". - (Act II, Scene II).

King Henry the Sixth, Part I
"Delays have dangerous ends". - (Act III, Scene II).
"Of all base passions, fear is the most accursed". - (Act V, Scene II).

King Henry the Sixth, Part II
"The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers". - (Act IV, Scene II).

King Henry the Sixth, Part III
"Having nothing, nothing can he lose".- (Act III, Scene III).

Timon of Athens
"We have seen better days". - (Act IV, Scene II).

Julius Caesar
"Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears; I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him". - (Act III, Scene II).
"But, for my own part, it was Greek to me". - (Act I, Scene II).
"Et tu, Brute!" - (Act III, Scene I).

Macbeth
"There 's daggers in men's smiles". - (Act II, Scene III).
"what 's done is done".- (Act III, Scene II).
"I dare do all that may become a man; Who dares do more is none". - (Act I, Scene VII).
"Fair is foul, and foul is fair". - (Act I, Scene I).
"I bear a charmed life". - (Act V, Scene VIII).
"Yet do I fear thy nature; It is too full o' the milk of human kindness." - (Act I, Scene V).
"Will all great Neptune's ocean wash this blood clean from my hand? No, this my hand will rather the multitudinous seas incarnadine, making the green one red" - (Act II, Scene II).
"Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and cauldron bubble." - (Act IV, Scene I).
"Out, damned spot! out, I say!" - (Act V, Scene I)..
"All the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand." - (Act V, Scene I).
"Look like the innocent flower, but be the serpent under 't." - (Act I, Scene V).
"Is this a dagger which I see before me, The handle toward my hand?" - (Act II, Scene I).
"Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more: it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing." - (Act V, Scene V).

King Lear
"My love's more richer than my tongue". - (Act I, Scene I).
"Nothing will come of nothing." - (Act I, Scene I).
"Have more than thou showest, speak less than thou knowest, lend less than thou owest". - (Act I, Scene IV).

Othello
"‘T’is neither here nor there." - (Act IV, Scene III).
"The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief". - (Act I, Scene III).

Antony and Cleopatra
"My salad days, when I was green in judgment." - (Act I, Scene V).

Cymbeline
"The game is up." - (Act III, Scene III).

Twelfth Night
"Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them". - (Act II, Scene V).
"Love sought is good, but giv'n unsought is better" . - (Act III, Scene I).

The Tempest
"We are such stuff as dreams are made on, rounded with a little sleep".

King Henry the Fifth
"Men of few words are the best men". - (Act III, Scene II).

A Midsummer Night's Dream
"The course of true love never did run smooth". - (Act I, Scene I).

Much Ado About Nothing
"Everyone can master a grief but he that has it". - (Act III, Scene II).

Titus Andronicus
"These words are razors to my wounded heart". - (Act I, Scene I).

Taming of the Shrew
"Out of the jaws of death". - (Act III, Scene IV).

Postcard: Washington D.C.

2010-04-06T21:26:00.000-04:00

I've been to Washington D.C. maybe eight or nine times. Wow, I had no idea I have gone there that many times! The first trip, the one I don't recall, was with my family when I was a toddler. I went with my classmates when my junior high school made a big D.C. trip in the 8th grade. That was an exciting trip because it was with friends and no family! I went many times over the years to visit college friends who were living there. One of my college friends grew up there and hosted me during a job interview weekend and two other friends are diplomats for the State Dept and travel in and out of D.C. fairly frequently. The last two times, I went with my husband pre-baby. The photos in this blog are from our 4th of July trip in 2007.

There is a lot to see in D.C. and most of the sites are free. I have visited the landmarks (Lincoln Memorial, Washington Monument, Jefferson Memorial, Memorial Bridge, Vietnam Veterans Memorial, WWII Memorial, Korean War Veterans Memorial). I have seen government buildings - the White House, U.S. Treasury Department, U.S. Capitol Building. I have walked around the National Zoo and the Arlington Cemetery. I have hung out in Georgetown and Dupont Circle. I have eaten great Ethiopian food and Korean food. I teared up at the Holocaust Museum and laughed through the International Spy Museum. I have gazed at the cherry blossoms in the spring. I have been frustrated and baffled by the road grid and traffic circles.

What strikes me the most about D.C. is the awe that you feel when walking downtown or driving around the beltway. It is always breathtaking to me to see the Washington Monument or the tops of the Jefferson and Lincoln Memorials from no matter where you are downtown. No matter what your feelings toward those in office, you can't help but be amazed by the history and the formation of this country. I would not want to live here (the driving!!), but I love to visit again and again.

U.S. Treasury Department

White House North Lawn

White House South Lawn

Washington Monument

Washington Monument as seen from the Lincoln Memorial

Lincoln Monument

Lincoln's Gettysburg Address

Vietnam Veterans Memorial

WWII Memorial

Lincoln Memorial

Korean War Veterans Memorial

Walking over the Arlington Memorial Bridge

Arlington Cemetery

tombs of JFK and Jackie Kennedy

Tomb of the Unknown Soldier

Matchbook Memories

2010-03-29T20:23:00.000-04:00

When I visited my parents last week, I went digging through the basement boxes to see what treasure I could find. Last time, I found my skydiving photos. This time, I found my collection of matchbooks that I had accumulated from every cool restaurant, bar or site I visited during the time after college when I lived in Stamford, CT to the time I lived in San Francisco. I stopped collecting matchbooks because a) I'm not a smoker and b) the tin box where I kept them became full. It's too bad that I stopped because sifting through the matchbooks brought forth many memories.

There was the cafe we (including Peony) stopped at on New Year's Eve 1995/6 (Yaffa Cafe), the belly dancing restaurant in SF (Kan Zaman), the last motel my parents owned (Arbor Inn), the comedy club I visited with Dana, Mark and Kate in Milwaukee (Comedy Cafe), the restaurant in Memphis with Susan (P.F. Chang's), the bar in Miami with Susan (Cafe Tu Tu Tango), the club in LA with Ann (Viper Room), and many many more. I wish I had kept up the collection because I'd forgotten most of these places and it was nice to receive a memory jolt.

in Massachusetts
Christopher's (Cambridge)
Stars on Higham Harbor (Hingham)
Sunset Motel (Lee)
Arbor Inn Motor Lodge (Weymouth)

in Rhode Island
The 108 House (Wakefield)

in Milwaukee
Comedy Cafe

in Connecticut
Bank Street Brewing Co. (Stamford)
Le Figaro Bistro de Paris (Greenwich)
Sakura (Westport)
Telluride (Stamford)
Violets Dinner Club (Stamford)

in Tennessee
P.F. Chang's (Memphis)

in Florida
Cafe Tu Tu Tango (Coconut Grove)

in Las Vegas
Bellagio
Caesars
Mirage
New York New York

in California
Brix Restaurant & Market (Yountville, Napa Valley)
Caribbean Zone (San Francisco)
Casa de Bandini (Old Town San Diego)
The Viper Room (Hollywood)
Jazz at Pearl's (Oakland)
Kan Zaman (San Francisco)
Murrays (San Francisco)
Eleven Restaurant + Bar (San Francisco)
Vertigo Restaurant & Bar (San Francisco)

in London
Hard Rock Cafe

in New York City
420 Bar & Lounge
Louisiana Community Bar & Grill
Planet Sushi
Yaffa Cafe
Ruby Foo's
Trattoria Trecolori
Webster Hall

A Birthday Fairy Tale

2010-03-24T10:09:00.001-04:00

This was a birthday card that my brother gave me years ago when I was in my late 20s.

On the inside:

That night, the princess had frog legs for dinner.

Milestone: 13 Months

2010-03-16T12:45:00.001-04:00

N turned one last month and we welcomed the milestone with no less than three birthday parties (and yes, he wore the same "birthday boy" onesie each time). Here is the announcement I sent to our relatives who did not make it to the celebrations. All of these photos were taken in February.

Now 13 months, N has really hit is stride.

He took his first step at 10 months and the week after his first birthday, he began walking proficiently, which means he walks room to room now as opposed to 7-8 steps from object to object.

At the moment, his favorite constantly repeated word is "uh-oh." He throws a toy on the floor and "uh-oh." This has pointed out to me how much I say that expression. He has cut back on saying "mama," which was the word of the moment at 10 months.

He was eating everything we gave him and now he's become a picky eater. His favorites - peas, green beans, broccoli, avocado, zucchini pancakes, and spinach pancakes. The kid loves quinoa! If we distract him, we can force down some chicken or turkey, bologna, lentils. He's rebelling against yogurt, carrots, fruits. His once favorite bananas are now disgusting to him. He will not take juice (good) and we're slowly getting him on board with whole milk. I should be happy he likes vegetables.

He's a very happy kid. The people in our apt building love him. When one of our neighbors saw him walking down the hallway, she said, "I heard he was walking. Everyone's talking about it." Living in a co-op gives you a small town feel. Of course, it means we can't just come into our building and go to our apt without stopping to chat with the doorman or whoever is sitting in the lobby lounge.

The naps are much better these days. He tends to get an hour for both naps -- a vast improvement. He's still sleeping through the night, about 11 hours.

He is non-stop active. He opens and closes drawers. He rifles through kitchen cabinets. He turns the light switch on and off. He puts objects into bowls. He stacks objects. He sits in his toddler chair. He can open the trash can lid. He climbs stairs. He climbs onto the couch and knows to get off "feet first." He puts toys and objects back on the shelves after he takes them down. He's learning!

Teaching Kids to Tell the Truth

2010-03-10T09:36:00.000-05:00

Studies have shown that the story "George Washington and the Cherry Tree" is far more effective at teaching kids to tell the truth than "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" (Bronson and Merryman, NurtureShock). Here is the story to tell your kids.

The Cherry Tree

By: Mason Locke Weems

When George Washington was about six years old, he was made the wealthy master of a hatchet of which, like most little boys, he was extremely fond. He went about chopping everything that came his way.

One day, as he wandered about the garden amusing himself by hacking his mother's pea- sticks, he found a beautiful, young English cherry tree, of which his father was most proud. He tried the edge of his hatchet on the trunk of the tree and barked it so that it died.

Some time after this, his father discovered what had happened to his favorite tree. He came into the house in great anger, and demanded to know who the mischievous person was who had cut away the bark. Nobody could tell him anything about it.

Just then George, with his little hatchet, came into the room.

"George," said his father, "do you know who has killed my beautiful little cherry tree yonder in the garden? I would not have taken five guineas for it!"

This was a hard question to answer, and for a moment George was staggered by it, but quickly recovering himself he cried: --

"I cannot tell a lie, father, you know I cannot tell a lie! I did cut it with my little hatchet."

The anger died out of his father's face, and taking the boy tenderly in his arms, he said: --

"My son, that you should not be afraid to tell the truth is more to me than a thousand trees! yes, though they were blossomed with silver and had leaves of the purest gold!"

Uniform Change

2010-03-08T20:40:00.000-05:00

Today is the 35th anniversary of International Women's Day! In honor of this day, I will share an anecdote involving my parents.

My first voyage to India was when I was seven years old. I made the trip with my family and spent most of the time with my paternal grandparents in their small village called Bodali. I visited Bombay (now Mumbai) for a few days, but mostly I was in Bodali. I have vivid memories of that place and time. I remember that in honor of our visit, a friend of my grandparents sent a live chicken to cook for our evening dinner. I remember a couple of neighborhood boys gave my brother and me hand-carved wooden sling shots. I remember heating the milk every morning and storing it in the cabinet to use during the day because there was no refrigerator. I remember watching the maid milk the buffalo...and the buffalo droppings all along the dirt road that runs through town. I remember my grandmother cooking over an open fire pit in the backyard. I remember my father brushing his teeth with what looked to be a twig from a tree. I remember trekking to my grandfather's fields and gnawing on fresh sugar cane right then and there. I remember pomegranate fruit, Thums Up soda, well water, and mangoes. These memories are made all the more special because I would not return to India for another 25 years.

When I was 32, I traveled with my mom, again to Bodali to visit my paternal grandmother and again to Mumbai to visit my uncle and family. Aside from the moving inner spiritual experience, what struck me about India this time was the contrast between the poor village and the big city. The first time around Bombay was slightly more advanced than the village. This time, Mumbai reflected what I thought a city should be and Bodali didn't seem very different from 25 years ago. True, many people (not all) had TVs now and many people (not all) had Western bathrooms. But, life was pretty much the same.

The first time I went, it was an eight hour journey from the Bombay Airport to Bodali. It was a four hour car ride the second time around, thanks to a more efficient highway system. In the U.S., it would likely be a three hour drive because although a lot of the trip was on paved highways, the last hour was still on a one lane dirt road. The kind of road that if a farmer is going by with a buffalo, then you pull over and wait. It is a long way from the small villages to the towns and cities. A long way.

During our time there, my mom told me that she and my father keep a bank account in the Bodali bank (which was once founded and managed by my grandfather). Every year the local elementary school for boys and girls in grades 1st to 7th withdraws funds from my parents' account to buy its students new uniforms for the school year. This was the elementary school my father attended along with his older brother and younger sister when he was growing up.

I thought it was admirable that my parents gave back to our little known family village in India. I admit, though, that I was a little unimpressed that we gave uniforms. I'm part of the generation that "thinks big" - give a car, get the latest and newest textbooks, order computers. What good will a uniform do?

These memories of India and my parents' effort to give back have been on my mind as I read the book Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide by Pulitzer Prize winners Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn. This is an inspirational book about unlocking the potential of women in many 3rd world countries, such as India, where women's roles have been traditionally minimized. There are numerous lessons in this book, but I will mention the one that struck a chord with me because it showed me how important it is to target small communities like Bodali and how valuable it is to "think small" sometimes.

Education is the key to increasing the role of girls and women. Easier said than done because girls drop out when their families do not have money to pay for the schooling or when they are married off early and get pregnant. Keeping girls in school leads them to earn income and support their countries' economies; thus helping to tackle global poverty. Educating women means less early age marriage and pregnancies; thus helping to lower the world's birthrates.

How can we help? One way, a Kenyan study found that giving girls a new $6 school uniform every 18 months significantly reduced dropout rates and pregnancy rates.

As usual, I have a lot to learn from my parents.

Published! (in Mar '10)

2010-03-08T09:18:00.002-05:00

I'm excited to have a story from my Indian Mother's Soul series published in the March 2010 print issue of City Masala magazine (circulation about 15,000, based in Tampa, FL). Here is an online link to page 24 and below is a screen shot of the page with my story, recipe, and photo of the dish.

I like the typeface and font. They faded the photo edges, which looks great. Also, they italicized Sheero and the other Indian words - another good idea that I will keep in mind. I'm glad they kept my title because now I can submit my other recipes to them and have it tie together as an"Indian Mother's Soul" regular column. Hey, there's something for my query letter when I submit my writing and for my resume when I look for jobs. I know it's bit dubious, but it counts.

Part of my Project Write On resolution was to work on essays/articles/short stories/features to submit to magazines and such for publication. Step 1. Now, I need to get back to my children's books.

Intro to Sleep

2010-02-24T21:52:00.003-05:00

When interviewing for jobs in my senior year of college, I had carefully rehearsed my answers. If asked about my favorite class at Brown, I'd respond with one of my senior level Economics courses in which I'd earned an "A." When I was interviewing with Andersen Consulting, I slipped. I got into a casual conversation and answered "my Sleep seminar." The interviewer, a Brown alum, looked at me puzzled and asked, "Sleep Psychology?" Realizing my faux-pas, I swallowed and said, "Right, it's a Psych course." Thus, ended that interview.

That's how I realized what my real favorite class was. Psych 55: Introduction to Sleep taught by Professor Carskadon rocked! It was a three hour seminar on Mondays from 3-6PM. The time slot was brutal. If anyone was caught dozing off, the professor would call on them...by name...in a 200+ person class. Aside from our naps, her pet peeve was when we pronounced REM sleep as R.E.M. sleep. We were an alt-rock school and it was difficult to break us of this habit. But, the class was fascinating. It gave an overview of sleep from regulation to physiology to disorders.

Little did I realize that Intro to Sleep was only the start of my sleep education.

Getting Little N on a sleep schedule was the bane of my existence for the first 9 months of his life. I read no less than five books on baby sleep, including Ferber's book and the popular with parents "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." It has been a torturous process and nothing worries me more than making sure he has good sleep habits from early on.

To that end, I just read "Nurtureshock: New Thinking About Children." Chapter 2 "The Lost Hour" details the importance of sleep in children. The science in it is solid. Quoting the research of several Brown staff members, including Dr. Mary Carskadon, it concluded, what I've preached for some time, that sleep is crucial to a child's maturation and can even alter brain development. [FYI...I had no idea that Brown is a leader in sleep research. So glad I took that Sleep class!]

The authors cite the main issue: children are averaging an hour less sleep at night than children 30 years ago. This loss reduces academic performance, affects emotional stability, and increases the risk of conditions such as obesity and ADHD. Unlike adults, children cannot "catch-up" on sleep.

Key Points:

A sleep deprivation study on a group of sixth graders showed that missing one hour of sleep a night caused them to perform in class at the level of a fourth grader.
The more a child learns during the day, the more sleep is required to consolidate the memories associated with the information learned.
Children who are sleep deprived are less able to recall pleasant memories
Lack of sleep increases the hormone that signals hunger and reduce the hormone that suppresses appetite.
Teenagers undergo “phase shift” in their circadian rhythms which keeps them up 90 minutes later. Teenagers are still producing melatonin when they wake up for school and are prone to falling back to sleep, usually in school. This early schedule affects their grades and SAT scores. In fact, it is believed that the lack of sleep is also related to “moodiness."
Only 5% of high school seniors get 8 hours of sleep at night.
The typical "A" student averaged 15 more minutes of sleep than a "B" student and so forth.
Teens in Minnesota showed dramatic increases in SAT scores (+56 points in Math, +156 points in Verbal) when their high school changed the school start time from 7:25AM to 8:30AM.

Fiction Writing and Gujarati Proverbs

2010-02-21T13:45:00.002-05:00

Thanks to my finely honed Internet surfing skills, I found a Desi fiction contest at a Bay Area magazine called India Currents. In two weeks, I've written (and re-written and edited) a 2000 word story, which will be ready to submit by the March 20th deadline. Just a few more edits to go and I will be ready. It is excruciatingly difficult to relinquish the editing process. You could edit and edit forever.

Short Story Synopsis: A woman reflects on her life, moving from India to the U.S. after getting married. Her life takes a drastic turn from the life of privilege she had expected. Despite the unexpected course, she persevered and worked hard to give her family a better life. Her husband passed away and now she has an estranged relationship with her son.

In doing research for the story, I found these terrific Gujarati proverbs.

Bhens aagal bhaagvat

Literal: Reading Bhagvat Geeta to a buffalo (is a waste)
Tailor your speech to your audience.

Chapti dhul ni jaroor pad

Interpretation 1-Sometimes only a pinch of sand is all you need.
Interpretation 2-Sometimes you do need a pinch of sand, too.
Even insignifcant people have their importance at times.

Khakhra ni Khiskoli Sakar no swaad su jaane

Literal: A squirel who eats dried chapatis would not know the taste of sugar.
Good things in life cannot be appreciated by someone who has never experienced the good things.

Laxmi chaandlo karva aave tyaarey mo dhova na javay

Literal: When the goddess of wealth comes to give you a blessing, you should not go to wash your face.
When opportunity knocks on one's door, one should grab it.

Mor na inda chitarva na pade

Literal: You don't have to go and paint the eggs of peacocks.
It suggests that great art,culture,skills comes in blood. As peacock is beautiful, so are its eggs, you need not to paint them separately to make them beautiful.

Na maamo karta kano maamo saaro

Literal: Having an uncle with one eye is better than having no uncle.
Something is better than nothing.

Jhajha hath ra Liyama Na

Literal: Unity is strength.
More the merrier

Date Night

2010-02-14T13:00:00.000-05:00

My husband B. and I met in fall of 2006. We had our first date in NYC at the Flatiron Lounge on October 20, 2006 to be exact. Since then, we've had lots of great dates and adventures. Here's a look at some of the best.

The first movie we saw together was the James Bond film Casino Royale at the Union Square cineplex. An hour and a half in, the movie reel disintegrated. After a failed attempt to get it going again, the staff announced that we would receive free movie coupons to return at a later date. After worming our way through the mob scene to grab two tickets, we dashed down to the second floor to catch an screening of Casino Royale that was running about 40 minutes behind the movie we just left. Great movie! And we have yet to use those free movie tickets.

The second movie stub was from a viewing of The Natural at the Tribeca Film Festival. I won the tickets courtesy of my job at ESPN and there was a special Q&A session afterward with director Barry Levinson by ESPN personality Jeremy Schaap. It was a long, torturous interview session and Schaap should stick to his day job. Fun fact, my last office at ESPN was next door to Jeremy Schaap's office.

Below are the playbills to three shows we saw the summer before Little N came along. First, we saw Avenue Q, which was pretty raunchy for a Muppet themed show. Next, we saw In The Heights, which was amazing, and then Wicked, an electrifying production.

The first time either of us went to Carnegie Hall was for this Jazz concert featuring our good friend Thierry Arpino on drums. Thierry's wife is one of my closest friends from b-school. The group was so-called after Jean-Luc Ponty, the master violinist and musician who began the group.

We've gone to many sporting events and here are ticket stubs to our first Yankees game, a Red Sox game, and the U.S. Open. We attended the 2008 Super Bowl but since my Patriots lost, I'm not including that ticket.

We're bigger sports fans than music fans but we have gone to a few concerts. B's college friend's brother is in
Gogol Bordello, a show we saw in WIlliamsburg at the famed McCarren Park Pool. We caught Coldplay in Hartford. Fantastic show! Grand Baton is another one of Theirry's bands and the Knitting Factory is a NYC institution for underground music.

You can't say we don't appreciate variety - Art Institute of Chicago, Country Music Hall of Fame in Nashville, and International Spy Museum in Washington D.C.

Alas, the one good thing about our Super Bowl weekend was the ESPN pre-party. Ludacris - not bad.

Bill Clinton is an articulate and engaging speaker and it is no wonder he was elected president twice. That man has a master personality, as well as, being one of the most intelligent people I've ever heard. Clinton spoke about the inter-dependency of all of the countries, the energy situation, health care, Aids, and poverty at home and abroad.

Upma for the Indian Mother's Soul

2010-02-10T14:52:00.000-05:00

A popular breakfast dish all over India, Upma flaunts its versatility by also serving as a hearty snack, savory side dish, quick lunch, or light dinner. I love breakfast that can be eaten for dinner! Originally from South India (my son is half Telugu), this dish, pronounced "oohp-maa," varies across the regions on vegetables and flavors. My mom did not prepare Upma when I was young, perhaps because we were such carnivores in our house. My mom started cooking it in the last few years, though. My sister-in-law's all-vegetarian family makes it regularly and so do my Southie in-laws. Now, it's a staple in our household because of the straightforward recipe and healthy ingredients. Much like Sheero, Upma has become a comfort food that reminds me of when my mom was helping me after my son was born. It has become another cherished family recipe.

My version of Upma is a lunch dish that is soft, fluffy, and rich and made of roasted rava mixed with onions, vegetables, spices, and cashews. Choose vegetables according to your taste. In my lazy mommy version, I add the frozen mixed vegetable packages found in the grocery store to simplify the cleaning/cutting/dicing step. In contrast, my husband's family eats it plain and with a smoother, more liquid consistency.

Upma Recipe

Ingredients :

1 cup Rava or Sooji from the Indian store --substitute cream of wheat from supermarket
3 tbsp cooking oil, i.e. canola oil
2 tbsp butter
2 - 3 cup hot water (pre-heated in microwave)
1 tsp cumin seeds
1/2 tsp mustard seeds
1 or 2 medium onions, chopped
vegetable mix - peas, carrots, green beans, corn
pinch of turmeric powder
3/4 medium chopped green chilies
1/2 tsp crushed ginger paste
1-2 tbsp yogurt (optional)
salt to taste
1/2 cup chopped cashews (for protein)
fresh chopped cilantro or coriander to garnish
lemon juice to taste

Preparation :

Heat oil and butter in a pan over medium flame.
When oil is slightly hot, add cumin and mustard seeds. Add onions when the seeds begin to pop and fry until onions become translucent and soft.
Lightly roast rava about 10-15 minutes until it just begins to turn pink. Stir constantly to prevent lumps.
Stir in hot water and salt. Then, add mixed vegetables that have already been cooked for 5 minutes in the microwave. Bring to boil.
Add turmeric powder, ginger paste, and green chillies.
Stir in yogurt according to your taste.
The upma is done when all the water is absorbed by the rava.
Garnish with cashews, chopped cilantro leaves, and lemon juice. Turn off stove and close lid.
Serve hot.

Birthday Party #2

2010-02-03T18:59:00.000-05:00

on Feb. 3, 2010

Measure in Love

2010-02-03T09:35:00.001-05:00

My son is one year old today - a toddler, a little man.

He's moved on from crawling to taking several hurried steps from object to object. He says "mama" although not "dada" yet. He is stubborn and curious. He bites you to make you listen to him. He shows affection by wildly waving his arms and hitting you in the process. He likes to touch your face. He loves people except when they are gathered in large groups. He's a bit of a bully with other kids his age. His naps have vastly improved and he continues to sleep through the night. He has memorized every inch of our apt and in any moment that I'm not paying enough attention, he will take off for one of his favorite things, such as the diaper pail or fan in his room, the toilets in the bathrooms, a wall hanging in the hallway, the nightstands in the guest room, the closet in the master bedroom, or the cabinets in the kitchen. He is adorable.

My favorite song from the musical Rent (I've seen it twice) is "Seasons of Love."

525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear. 525,600 minutes -

how do you measure, measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee. In
inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife. In 525,600 minutes -

how do you measure a year in the life?
How about love? How about love? How about love? Measure in love.

Seasons of love.

Birthday Party #1

2010-02-02T20:42:00.001-05:00

on Jan 30, 2010

Engagement Story and Mark Twain

2010-01-26T16:11:00.001-05:00

My engagement ring against the grass at the Mark Twain house

My husband and I became officially engaged in Rocky Hill, CT. I say officially because it wasn't a surprise and we were effectively planning the wedding before a proposal took place. I helped pick out the ring and in order to save thousands of dollars in taxes, we had it mailed to my friend in CT. We stopped by her house to pick up the ring and then continued on. We had a lovely dinner at the Saybrook Fish House in Rocky Hill and then returned to the hotel where my husband gifted me with my engagement ring. I surprised him with a Cartier watch for his engagement gift. He knew he was getting the watch and had picked it out but it was a surprise that he got it that night. As you can tell, we're very practical people. It works well for both of us.

The next morning, we stopped in Hartford to see Mark Twain's house that has been converted into a museum. Although we had randomly chosen to stop there, I would recommend it as a great place to visit. The house would be considered a Victorian mansion even by today's standards. Louis Comfort Tiffany supervised the interior decoration and one of the earliest telephones was installed in the entrance hall. Mark Twain resided there from 1874 to 1891 and during this time he wrote The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, Huck Finn, and The Prince and Pauper - three excellent reads. Hartford was a publishing center back then and many authors lived there, including Harriet Beecher Stowe who lived next door.

Below are select Twain quotes.

"A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval."

"The lack of money is the root of all evil."

"Always respect your superiors...if you have any."

"Travel is fatal to prejudice."

Mark Twain said of Hartford: "Of all the beautiful towns it has been my fortune to see, this is the chief... You do not know what beauty is if you have not been here." And he was right. I have wonderful memories of Hartford.

Mother to Son

2010-01-25T10:48:00.000-05:00

In 11th grade, I developed an interest in poetry. I admired the works of several poets - Poe, Wilde, Frost, Neruda, and Dickinson. I wrote a few pieces and even won honorable mention in a poetry contest. And that was the end of that. I still appreciate poetry, though, even if I have not written a poem since then.

The title of this post is from Langston Hughes' work and I'm borrowing it in honor of my son's upcoming first birthday. Hughes writes from the perspective of a mother speaking to her son about life's hardships by using the appropriate metaphor of life as a climb up a staircase. There are many difficulties and struggles in life, but it is important to keep going and move beyond these obstacles and keep living life. The moral is that life is tough, but you shouldn't avoid it. I can't think of a more important lesson for a mother to impart upon her son.

Mother to Son

by: Langston Hughes

Well, son, I'll tell you

Life for me ain't been no crystal stair.

It's had tacks in it,

And splinters,

And boards torn up,

And places with no carpet on the floor --

Bare.

But all the time

I'se been a-climbin' on,

And reachin' landin's,

And turnin' corners,

And sometimes goin' in the dark

Where there ain't been no light.

So boy, don't you turn back.

Don't you set down on the steps

'Cause you finds it's kinder hard.

Don't you fall now --

For I'se still goin', honey,

I'se still climbin',

And life for me ain't been no crystal stair.

Chaa for the Indian Mother's Soul

2010-01-24T13:46:00.006-05:00

I prefer tea to coffee, more specifically Indian masala tea called chaa. It's a cultural thing. As India is a former British colony, a hot cup of tea is important to the Indian way of life. Families in India drink it twice a day - in the morning and at afternoon tea time. When guests arrive, they are offered tea as soon as they walk through the front door and it is not uncommon for young children to drink tea. It's odd to do a post on tea and it's difficult to explain, but chaa has been a substantial part of my life. My mom taught me how to make it when I was young and I would make it whenever guests visited. Although I've gone through many caffeine eschewing phases during my life, it comes to my mind again because when my mom stayed with us after my son was born, I got back into the tea drinking habit. Now, it's become one of my morning rituals to put on a pot of tea while I sleepily play with my son.

Though recipes and styles vary from family to family, making a good Indian masala tea is not difficult at all. The predominant tastes in the tea are cardamom, a staple in Indian cooking, and ginger. A popular Indian tea brand is Red Label although I prefer Tetley (my family is British influenced in many ways). Tea masala (a blend of ginger, cinnamon, cardamom, cloves, peppercorns, and nutmeg) is found in Indian grocery stores. If you're more industrious than I am and want a truer Indian experience, substitute the tea masala with the core ingredients of fresh ginger, cinnamon sticks, and cardamom powder. Also, use a strong loose-leaf black tea such as Assam rather than tea bags for a fuller flavor.

Chaa Recipe

Ingredients :

Tea masala
Tetley tea bags -British Blend (my personal choice)
Sugar

Preparation (makes 2 cups of tea):

Pour 1 cup water into a stainless steel pot and bring to a boil.
When boiling, add 2 tea bags, 1/4 teaspoon tea masala, and 2-3 teaspoons sugar.
After about 3-4 minutes, add 1 cup milk. The liquid mix will turn pale beige in color.
Bring to a boil again and just as the liquid is rising to the top of the pot, switch off the heat. Pour through strainer and serve hot.

Family Democracy

2009-12-31T10:59:00.001-05:00

I was six years old when I was introduced to politics. It was the election year of 1980 and my family lived in Georgia, the home state of one of the candidates, Jimmy Carter. It was an exciting time for state pride although the other candidate, Ronald Reagan would go on to become president. I had no idea what a presidential election really meant, but the charged atmosphere was enough to get my precocious mind thinking.

"Daddy, what party are you?" I asked.
"I am whatever our president is," he replied.

At the time, I did not react to that answer. I was looking to hear one of two responses and I did not understand what he meant. Almost thirty years later, I consider it a beautiful and simple statement that has enormously influenced the way I live my life.

I remember when Reagan was up for re-election and ran a brilliant campaign commercial using the song, "I'm Proud to Be an American," with scenes of "real" America - farms, steel mills, churches and coal miners. I was ten then and still did not understand the scope of politics, but I was hooked. I was proud to be an American. Considering the landslide victory that year, I think much of America felt this way.

Growing up, I had no political affiliation although I followed politics somewhat. I wasn't a taxpayer and I wasn't old enough to vote, so I did not think it necessary to take a side. I took what my dad said to heart. I turned eighteen and started my first year of college in the election year of 1992. I excitedly registered to vote in our campus mailroom. Given the choice of party affiliation, I chose "Independent." Now, don't get me wrong, I went to one of the most liberal colleges in the country and I've only voted in one direction the last seventeen years. Yet, I valued my Independent status.

I vote in every election. Sometimes my candidate wins and sometimes a different candidate wins. The majority has spoken. As an adult, I have strong opinions on the issues, but I haven't forgotten the lesson from my father. In fact, I find it quite intellectual to understand and debate the opposite of what one thinks. I find it more rewarding to be compassionate and empathetic to other people's thinking than to bully others into my opinion. That doesn't stop me from shaking my head in frustration, but I will listen respectfully.

It was not until later that I would understand that my dad was a citizen of his birth country India; thus, he was not able to vote in the 1980 election. Despite this, he was and is well-versed in politics, current events, international news, and local affairs. A lack of a vote did not mean apathy. I've noticed that he takes the diplomatic route rather than the divisive one in most situations, whether presidential politics or family politics. He has strong opinions, but he methodically weighs the arguments of both sides. I am proud to be my father's daughter.

First Snow

2009-12-27T19:36:00.000-05:00

The little one experienced his first snow last Sunday. I wish it had come on Xmas Day, but it was still a happy day to take him outside. One of my aunty's had given him a snow suit when he was born, which we used to dress him up. She had given us a size 9 months snowsuit, so I had thought we'd never be able to use it but since the little one is truly a little one, he fit into it at 10 1/2 months old. Of course, he absolutely hated it because it made him immobile and this is not a boy who likes to lie on his back or sit around. We sunk him into mounds of snow and captured many photo moments. Sadly, he wasn't enchanted with the snow, but we found him adorable.

Christmas Gift!

2009-12-23T11:00:00.007-05:00

Did you know that "Christmas Gift!", and not "Merry Christmas," was the greeting originally spoken on X-mas morning and that the first person saying it would receive a gift?

My parents had immigrated from India and did not know much of American customs, so we did not begin celebrating the holiday until I was eight. That's when we moved to Plymouth and were surrounded by a Christmas hysteria that we had never witnessed before. I think the snow and cold weather brings the festive spirit alive much more. I also think that in the 70s, Christmas hadn't peaked in its mass appeal.

My family was always hazy on the customs. I never believed in Santa Claus and I am thankful for that. We had a fake tree and wreath and electric candles for the first few years. We got our first live tree when I was in high school and I enjoyed decorating it and smelling the fresh pine needles. I did not like the mess. I loved Christmas and Hannukah songs. My mom would cook a special dinner, such as pot roast or meatloaf. We made Christmas cards. We went sledding and built snowmen. I was excited about Christmas break from school.

The big tradition, the one many people associate with Christmas, of exchanging gifts was one that did not catch on in my family. We are not gift givers. We do get thoughtful gifts for each other throughout the year, but we were hot and cold with the idea of Christmas gifts. Some years we'd wrap up gifts and other years no one would do anything. Sometimes, we'd tell each other the gift or outright ask someone what to buy, thus killing any surprise element. I'm happy that I didn't grow up with an emphasis of gifts. We didn't torture ourselves to finish Christmas shopping during the holiday rush or pick up generic gifts just for the sake of gift giving or believe that this was the only time of the year to do something nice for each other.

Of course, that doesn't mean I don't appreciate a good Christmas gift. I may be contradicting myself, but I love getting gifts. Who doesn't? Memories of gifts I did receive are very special, especially since I don't need to weave through memories of unused picture frames or cop-out calendars or useless gadgets or compulsory gift cards.

My most memorable Christmas was when I was ten and I woke up to find a wrapped box with my name under the decorated tree. "Christmas gift!" I was the only one with a package. I unwrapped the box and amazingly it was a Cabbage Patch Kid. A preemie named Ellie Oriana to be exact. This was when Cabbage Patch Kids were the hot ticket item and I had been on the waiting list for months. Apparently, the store had called a few days before Christmas and my dad and brother had gone to get it. They managed to wrap it up and sneak it back tot he house without me seeing or knowing. I was ecstatic -- words cannot express the joy. This was the first time I'd ever had a Christmas Day surprise.

Many Christmas days have passed since then and I've received several gifts. My parents bought me a brand new car at one point. My preemie doll is somewhere in my parents' basement. I lugged it to school in the fifth grade and then the fad ended. That one memory lives on, though, because I remember the huge smiles across my parents' and brother's faces as I unwrapped the box and expressed my shock and delight at what I saw. They were more excited than I was. That was my favorite Christmas gift.

"Merry Christmas"

Say You Want A Resolution

2009-12-21T18:56:00.006-05:00

That's not how the lyric goes in my favorite Beatles song, but I'm not harboring any revolutionary tendencies...my liberal heart college days are too far gone. I have resolved to make resolutions this year, though. Resolutely.

I have never been one for New Year's resolutions in the past. A year was too short-term and I was more interested in the long-term. Perhaps I am victim of my own over-organization, but I always had goals laid out in front of me. When I started my school years, I strived to get all A's. Check. When I was ten, I dreamed of attending an ivy league college. Check. When I was eighteen, I said my next step after college would be graduate school. Check. After the academics came the goals for career and family. I realize these were life ambitions and not year end resolutions. But, I didn't see any habits that needed reforming or new things that needed to be done that I wasn't already doing.

As I've gotten older, the idea of resolutions has grown on me as a way to reflect upon life and realize more meaningful ways to live life. Maybe I'm trying to slow things down now that I have a child. Maybe I'm apprehensive of starting this year without a traditional "job." Or, maybe it's the MBA in me that views a resolution as a rolling forecast or business plan. The checklist method was a bit cold, I admit, and my early life did seem to pass in warp speed.

There are the lifelong resolutions to get in shape and eat healthy. In 2007, I was in wedding and honeymoon planning mode while trying to get a promotion at work (Do I hear a "check?"). In 2008, I decided to become more organic in my lifestyle, which led to the great purge of most of my personal care products, including my beloved Nars blush in orgasm! My husband and I also had "Goal Pre-Baby," meaning we dined at Michelin star restaurants (sometimes 2-3x per week), went to the Super Bowl, traveled to six countries outside the US, saw two Broadway shows and one concert, and overall crammed in as many activities as we could. That was a tiring year! All 2009 lifestyle changes revolved around parenthood and baby development. I also made the decision to leave my job and decide what I really want in a career. Still deciding...

It's the end of 2009 and, finally, I have a real resolution. One that is a yearlong and will take me through 2010 with results (hopefully) to show in 2011. I resolve to write three drafts of children's books by the end of the year. This is a 2010 goal because I'd like to attend the Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators (SCBWI) conference in January 2011 in NYC. I am even proud that it follows the SMART goal system - specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely. Again, the MBA in me.

I have been thinking a lot about my writing goals these days. It's always been a dream to get published someday. In the past, I'd thought of writing a novel, but recently I've had an interest in children's books. Never did I think I'd want to write a children's book. I credit my son for this evolution. There are not enough multicultural books or teaching materials out there that will help teach my son about his Asian-Indian heritage and that is the topic I've chosen to tackle. My initial goal is three books about Indian holidays.

To that end, another resolution is to work and work on my writing. I recently found out that the essay on my mom (a very edited version) was accepted for print publication in a compilation of anecdotes and essays about the influences of the women in families. Thanks K. for blogging about this opportunity. Next year, I want to write essays/articles that I hope to submit to magazines, websites, books, and anywhere. There is a thrill that comes with seeing your byline. I always got a kick out of writing for my college and b-school papers. Even if nothing comes of this, I am excited to have a true resolution.

So begins "Project Write On." Can't blame the MBA on that one, just an inherent nerdiness.

First Thanksgiving

2009-11-30T19:24:00.000-05:00

'Too much turkey"

Milestone: 9 months

2009-11-05T21:21:00.001-05:00

The little one did very well on his first vacation. Of course, now I'm reading that this was probably a bad time in his development to travel with him. It definitely interfered with his sleep schedule and he was out of it for a week after coming back. Sleep is an issue all its own at the moment. We're still trying to conquer that one.
Well, we got the regular flu shot and the first does of the H1NI flu shot. I'm thankful he's not in school or day care yet.
The little one continues to show signs of fear or shyness around strangers. He has gotten especially clingy with me and wants me to hold him all the time. Of course, he is a baby and thus easily distracted. Give him a toy and he forgets about me. But, sometimes he gets upset if I put him down and am still sitting next to him.
He understands when I tell him "no" but that won't necessarily stop him from doing something.
He is adeptly cruising and stands up everywhere - onto my legs, the chair, the bathtub, toilet, toys, our friends backs, kitchen cabinets, trash can, tv stand, etc., etc.
He crawls up stairs as the picture above shows.
He is teething and seems to have a lot of pain at night. This is always distressing for a parent.

A.M. Travel Tip

2009-10-25T12:42:00.001-04:00

My #1 travel tip is to pack clothes that you plan to throw out during the duration of the trip.

When I clean out my closet, I set aside most clothes for Goodwill, but I also keep a few pieces that are still decent looking for vacation travel. On the last trip, I brought all of my camisoles that were now too loose fitting, a couple of pairs of worn socks that were on the brink of forming big holes, one shirt, and one sweater. For my husband, this generally means very worn t-shirts and socks.

After wearing once, I throw out or leave behind in the hotel room. This helps you lighten your load as you travel, provides extra room for your souvenirs, and decreases the amount of laundry you'll have when you return home.

Postcard: Ireland

2009-10-24T22:31:00.005-04:00

Cliffs of Moher in Ireland

Our friends warned us that our whirlwind life of travel would end when our son arrived, but I was and am determined to prove them all wrong. Travel doesn’t need to end when you have a baby, but your mindset about travel does need to change. Your African safari and Amazon River cruise may be distant memories, but you’ll discover a new world that you hadn’t seen before when you vacation as a family.

For our baby’s first international vacation, our main concerns were flight time, ease of getting around the country, and costs. We chose Ireland because of the 5.5 hour flight time from New York city, the short driving distance between the main historic sites, and the lower costs compared to other European countries.

Being the consummate overplanner, I compiled my packing lists and our day-by-day itinerary. I outlined every possible scenario in which an eight month old might lose it (lack of toys and entertainment, too much time in the car, boring food choices, bad weather). I wrote down three goals: (1) sightseeing in Dublin, (2) kissing the Blarney Stone, and (3) viewing the Cliffs of Moher. As long as we accomplished those three things, we should be happy.

My husband and I chose Ireland because of the distance mainly but discovered that it is an underrated country. The landscape is lush and green (as beautiful as New Zealand), the food is excellent (too many stories of the potato famine danced in my head), and the memorable sites are numerous.

Sunday, 10/11/09
We arrived at 7AM at the Camden Court Hotel in Dublin after a red eye flight. I was exhausted as I did not sleep at all on the flight because I was holding our son most of the time. Adding to the pile of reasons why a red-eye flight might not be advantageous is that we had to wait over three hours in the brightly lit and loud hotel lobby for our room to be ready. In the past, we would have dropped off our bags and explored the city; however, that is hardly a plan of action with an eight month old.

After finally getting into our small room and sleeping for a few hours, we did mange to go to St. John's Green, which was walking distance from our hotel. The little one loves nature, especially sitting in the grass, which means that we spent more time on this vacation relaxing at parks and playgrounds than rushing through cathedrals and castles.

Monday, 10/12/09
We began the day with the Dublin Pass, a double decker bus tour of the city's main attractions. We caught the bus at St. John's Green and hopped off a couple of stops later at the Dublin Castle. We found out that most of the castles require you to reserve a set 45 minute to 1 hour tour group in order to see the inside. We quickly dropped the castle idea because we did not expect our son to sit still or be quiet through an organized tour. Being new parents, we were not quite ready for the glares and sympathetic looks this would engender. We walked around the outside area and then headed to St. Patrick's Cathedral. The Cathedral was beautiful with gorgeous stained glass windows and grand architecture. We happened to visit at lunchtime at which time there is a prayer service; the melodic voices vibrate through the building.

We left there and walked past Christ Church Cathedral, which is the older of the medieval cathedrals and the official seat of the Church of Ireland and the Roman Catholic archbishops of Dublin. We decided going inside one cathedral was enough as it was sometimes tricky to navigate with a stroller. Luckily, we had brought our compact and lightweight umbrella stroller because doorways and sidewalks were narrow and there were lots of up and down steps.

We finished the day with a visit to the Guinness Storehouse where we learned the history of the brew and that Guinness was celebrating its 250th anniversary in 2009. This is definitely a site more for the parents, but my son loved the indoor waterfall. My husband learned to pour his own pint while I lifted my self-imposed ban on alcohol to have a few sips of Guinness. I am not a beer person, but I do like Guinness. The building, by the way, is quite impressive. There is a 360 degree view of Ireland from the bar at the top of the building and a free pint is included with entry into the Storehouse.

Tuesday, 10/13/09, Jurys Cork Hotel
We left Dublin in the morning via car rental and drove down to Kilkenny on our way to overnight in Cork. Kilkenny Castle is an imposing site. We toured the exterior of the castle and the grounds.

We made one more stop in Cobh, a seaport town on the south coast of County Cork. There is not much going on there except that the Titanic's last port of call was to Cobh on the morning of April 11, 1912. The colorful buildings are indicative of many of the small towns of Ireland.

Wednesday, 10/14/09, Killarney Plaza Hotel
A ten minute drive from Cork city is Blarney Castle, which houses the famous stone of eloquence. We stopped here, of course, to kiss the Blarney Stone. We had not realized that the stone was at the top of the castle and the climb to the top was challenging, especially for my husband who was carrying our son up the narrow, winding stone staircase. The experience reminded us both of La Sagrada Familia in Barcelona although that climb was more claustrophobic, more rigorous, and longer. We made it to the top not a moment too soon. The Blarney Stone is still set in the wall below the battlements. To kiss it, you have to lean backwards while lying down and hanging in the air as some guy holds on to you. Once kissed, the stone bestows the gift of eloquence. Check that off the list.

Thursday, 10/15/09, Hotel Galway

Outside the town of Killarney is an expanse of rugged mountainous country, enormous lakes, and green woodlands. The focal point is the Muckross Estate, which we viewed from the outside. We stopped at Ladies' View overlooking a beautiful green valley. Ladies' View provides a good view of the Lakes including the Gap of Dunloe, the Black Valley and Ross Castle. We stopped at one of the lakes to take a boat ride from a elder Irish man who said he'd been giving tours for 65 years. It probably wasn't the best idea as our son lost it about 20 minutes in, but I felt sympathy for the old man standing outside in the cold.

Friday, 10/16/09, Hotel Galway

The Cliffs of Moher stretch for 8km and rise up to 702 feet above the Atlantic Ocean at the highest peak. The cliffs consist mainly of beds shale and sandstone, with the oldest rocks found at the bottom of the cliffs. From the top, one can see the Aran Islands, Galway Bay, The Twelve Bens, the Maam Turk Mountains in Connemara and Loop Head to the South. The main reason I wanted to see the cliffs is because I'd been to the Dover Cliffs years earlier and so I'd gotten it into my mind to visit the Cliffs of Moher, also. And then, once I found out that the cliffs were featured in The Princess Bride, that cemented my need to go there. The cliffs were also featured in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, which I found out after the trip.

Saturday, 10/16/09, Bunratty Castle Hotel

Our last day in Ireland. Although we had a great hotel room, this was the most manufactured, tourist trap portion of the vacation. Bunratty Castle and Folk Park is a recreation of 19th century Ireland, with a village and townspeople acting the part. It's sort of like Plimoth Plantation. The saving grace was when we stopped at a pub because my husband wanted to make sure that our son visited his first Irish pub.

I bought a bookmark with a lucky shamrock and the following Irish blessing.

May you live as long as you want,
And never want as long as you live.

Sheero for the Indian Mother's Soul

2009-10-07T22:05:00.004-04:00

In the state of Gujarat (the home state of my parents), Sheero is a sweet food (called prasad) that is offered to the deities and then distributed among the guests at the end of many religious ceremonies. I remember going to these ceremonies (or pujas) when I was younger and enjoying the taste of it at the end of another long, unintelligible Hindu ceremony. It was a reward for sitting through an Indian function that I probably did not want to attend in the first place.

Sheero does not have the religious connotations for me anymore, but rather it has become my comfort food. The tasty treat reminds me of the admirable woman that my mom is. After my son was born, my mom came to stay with us and helped me with my son and with household chores for several months. I would not have survived without her. During this time, she made sheero for me every week because it is one of my favorites. I am grateful for the family recipes and traditions that my mom has passed down to me.

Sheero is soft, fluffy, and rich and made of roasted cream of wheat mixed with milk, butter, sugar, cardamom, and almonds. Many people add raisins and you can add fruits such as banana, grapes, apples and pineapple to give it a sweet and fruity flavor. I love my mom's simple recipe the best, of course. My mom has learned over the years to exclude raisins from almost everything if she expects me to eat it. I like raisins on their own but for some reason, I don't like them mixed into my food.

Sheero Recipe

Ingredients :

1 cup Ravo or Sooji from the Indian store --> substitute cream of wheat from supermarket
one stick unsalted butter --> my mom uses 1/2 cup of ghee
4 cups hot low-fat milk --> my mom uses whole milk and others use water
a little less than 1 cup sugar
1 teaspoon cardamom powder
1/2 cup chopped almonds
1 teaspoon saffron

Preparation :

Place non-stick pot over medium heat and melt the butter.
Pour one cup ravo/sooji/cream of wheat and stir continuously for about 12 minutes, or until the mixture becomes slightly pinkish-beige in color.
Add hot milk (pre-heat in microwave) and stir. The mixture may bubble so keep your body turned away from the pot. Stir until the milk is absorbed.
Add sugar and keep stirring. Do not let the mixture stick to the bottom of the pot.
By now, the sheero will be soft and fluffy. Add cardamom powder, chopped almonds, and saffron and stir.
Turn off the stove and keep the pot covered for about 5 minutes.

Milestone: 8 Months

2009-10-06T14:45:00.000-04:00

Lots of excitement to report from the past month...

In addition to looking more like me and less like the exact replica of my husband, the little one experienced some firsts in the last month. On September 28th, he had his 3rd round of vaccinations and a general flu shot. He dropped in all of the comparable metrics - 31st percentile in length, 4th percentile in head size, and 4th percentile in weight.

First Step - Just past the 7 month mark, he learned to take a few steps after standing up. His motivation involves moving around so he can grab something on the sofa. Now that it has become automatic that he will stand up, he is tentatively moving around objects by coordinating his feet. I hesitate to call it cruising because its only been a few steps here and there. Also, my dad did see him briefly stand without holding onto anything. He fell within seconds but that was a first, also.

First Fever - Over Labor Day Weekend, he had his first fever - almost 103 degrees. On that Sunday, he was crying almost all day long, which made the whole experience heartbreaking. We kept him on a steady diet of Tylenol and Motrin, which helped the fever break and bring on sleep. A few days after the high temps went away, he developed an awful cough followed by a stuffy nose and then runny nose. It took a week and a half for him to recover. He lost much of his appetite during that time and barely ate. We had his pediatrician checkup a couple of weeks later and he was down to the 4th percentile of weight (down from 9th).

First Haircut - On October 3rd, we held a ceremony for his first haircut. This was a tradition from my husband's side of the family and about 30 people came to the party. The little one was quite disturbed by the crowd in such a small space and was crying upon entering the house. He didn't settle down much as anything would set him off into a fit, especially a relative approaching him. It was too bad because he is normally a very happy, smiley baby and most of the people there did not get to see that. It has been in the last few weeks that the little one has developed separation anxiety and awareness of the people around him. He is fine in a small setting, but larger groups are scary to him.

First, there was a ceremony in which they set out books, pens/pencils, cash/gold, and fruit. The little one had to crawl to and pick one of those choices to determine his fate. Books meant he would be scholarly, pens/pencils meant he would be a writer, cash/gold meant he would be well off, and fruits signified a fruitful life. He started crawling to the stack of books when he saw the folded money in front of him. He crawled straight to the cash and was about to reach out when the crowd roared and applauded in unison. He stopped to look at the wall of people and then looked back to my husband and me and started bawling. I don't blame him. I said he got close enough to the cash and we could move on to the other ceremony after I calmed him down.

Next, we had the ceremonial first cut. My brother took a few snips of his hair so that my husband's family could take the strands to the temple later to be blessed. The little one cried throughout this part of the day. I was happy when everything was over and the crowd dispersed to the different rooms and outside.The little one was much happier outside playing on the trampoline with his cousin and crawling in the grass.

First Tooth - His first tooth is emerging from the bottom front of his gums. I felt it with my finger and saw it yesterday. I think it's developed in the last week, though, as I felt something when he was breastfeeding. There is no mistakening the sharpness. He has been drooling and putting everything into his mouth for a while so I am relieved to finally see a tooth popping out. The bottom front gums are swelling as are the top front now.

Upcoming First Flight -On Saturday,we leave for Ireland, which will be his first flight and first international vacation. We're excited and nervous and fearful. Hopefully, it will go well and his teething won't be too unbearable during the time. I have lists detailing everything I need to pack, including baby food, Orajel, feeding utensils, diapers, wipes, clothes, bibs, toys, etc. For someone who packs light, this will be a new adventure for me, too. Photos to come...

Postcard: San Francisco

2009-09-29T22:55:00.007-04:00

I heart San Francisco as you may have noticed from the numerous mentions of it during the short existence of my blog. It is one of my favorite places ever. I lived there from September 1997 to August 2001, which covered the pivotal self-discovery ages of 23 to 27. I think those years there have had a lot to do with the person I am because this was the period after college when I was learning to support myself and live away from my parents but before 30 when the realities of adult responsibility began to hit me. It's hard to cover that impact in one blog post, so I'll keep this postcard entry to my favorite touristy things to do in San Francisco. The list is not all encompassing as I could go on and on about the city, but I picked some of the more interesting to me. The photos are from my last visit there in June 2007 when my husband and I covered much of my list since it was our first trip there together.

1. Ride the Cable Car. Walk downtown to Powell and Market Streets so you can take the route from start to finish. There are two lines and the one we took - the Powell-Mason line - runs from downtown up and over Nob Hill (my old neighborhood) and down to Bay Street at Fisherman's Wharf.

Hang off the side like this guy, a Sox fan. We are everywhere!

And enjoy the views.

2. Drive down Lombard Street. Lombard Street is America's crookedest street. Because this area of the street between the cross streets Hyde and Leavenworth is so steep, the brick paved road was created with sharp curves to prevent accidents.

Apparently, my family drove down Lombard Street on my first birthday. We were visiting the Oakland area, perhaps as a precursor to our move to northern California when I was 2. My family owned our first motel in a little town called Sonora that was on the drive from San Francisco to Yosemite National Park. By the way, I have two regrets from the time I was living in SF - (1) I did not make it to Yosemite and (2) I did not visit Hawaii.

3. Take the Alcatraz audio tour. It is well worth it. Book ahead and early morning with Alcatraz Cruises, so that you can spend as much time as you'd like there. There is a short ferry ride from the wharf and then you must climb a steep hill to the top of the island where the prison lies.

My brother and I went to Alcatraz when he lived in San Francisco for a year before I moved there. I went to visit in December 1996 and we did the tour. This day was memorable to me because the audio tour provides a rich history of the prison and its inmates. Also, I did not bring my walking shoes on the trip and thus had to climb up the steep, steep walk-up to the prison wearing Mary Jane block heels. I will not forget that torture.

4. Walk around Fisherman's wharf, aka Pier 39. This is a touristy shopping marketplace and restaurant area. The street is lined with souvenir stores and street vendors.

This is the city's worst tourist trap area but I still recommend it mostly because I always got a fresh crab salad sandwich and clam chowder in sourdough bread bowl there. I am a New Englander and I love seafood. While there, see the seal lions on the dock or sign up for the tour to Alcatraz. My parents went to the Bubbagump Shrimp Company when they were there. I said tourist trap.

5. Go to a service at Grace Cathedral. Grace Cathedral was only a few blocks from my old apartment. It is one of the city's oldest landmarks and is of the Episcopal tradition.

No matter what your faith, it is a beautiful building and it is enlightening to attend services. My friend and I attended Easter services once when I lived there. We were two open minded people who thought it would be a great experience to try it out. We weren't the only ones who thought so because the church was packed and we had to stand for an hour. I was impressed that the sermon was open-minded and inclusive of all people and even all faiths. In fact, we were encouraged to follow our own spiritual path.

On my last visit, I acted for the camera.

6. Dip your feet in the frigid San Francisco Bay water.

I always laughed when tourists arrived in San Francisco with their shorts and summer clothes. It is California, but northern California is cold. I never wore shorts once and always carried at least a light jacket. I would not go swimming at the beaches.

7. Drive across the Golden Gate Bridge even if it is covered in fog. The Golden Gate Bridge has become the symbol of San Francisco and is recognized by its red color. When built in 1937, it was the longest suspension bridge in the world. It spans the Golden Gate, the opening between the San Francisco Bay onto the Pacific Ocean.

Another thing visitors do not know is that San Francisco is foggy all summer long. The nicest weather months are September and October. Of course, I moved to the city during the year of El Nino and carried an umbrella for the first 4 months straight.

8. Visit Coit Tower. Coit Tower lies atop Telegraph Hill. It resembles a fire hose nozzle although the designers claim that is not the case. It is, however, beautification project for San Francisco that was built using money left by Lillie Hitchcock Coit, a wealthy socialite. The area offers fantastic views of San Francisco including Alcatraz, the Golden Gate Bridge, Lombard Street, and Nob Hill. There are murals painted in fresco inside of the tower by local artists.

When I had lived in San Francisco, I had bought into a myth that the tower was built to honor the firemen of the city because the daughter of the wealthy family who bequeathed it had been saved by the firemen. This is why I liked the site and I am disappointed to find out that this story was untrue. Alas, I'll leave it as a favorite because a friend of mine proposed to his fiancee at the top of the tower.

9. and 10. Leave time for two day trips out of the city

These were two of my favorite trips when friends visited town. I would almost always head north to Napa and Sonoma Valley and do a wine tour. Mondavi was a must stop because the tour guides gave a great intro to wine making there and I enjoy the sweet dessert Muscats. I also liked Beringer, Sterling, Gundlach-Bundschu, and Benziger. Once in while I would drive south toward Monterey and Carmel. This is a longer drive but much prettier along the way. I am a big fan of the Monterey Bay Aquarium.

Postcard: Iceland

2009-09-18T21:04:00.006-04:00

For Labor Day weekend 2008, my husband and decided to do a quick getaway to Iceland. The year before, we'd visited Playa del Carmen over the holiday weekend and had loved it. Although not at the very top of our list of places to visit, Reykjavik was only a 5 1/2 hour direct flight from NYC via Icelandair. The country has numerous natural features, including glaciers, hot springs, geysers, active volcanoes, and lava deserts. We were intrigued and off we went that Friday on an overnight flight.

Reykjavik has a renowned nightlife. Many Europeans fly in for their bachelor/bachelorette parties. We would not know about this. I had just passed the 12 week pregnancy mark and my stomach had settled down enough to enjoy the fresh seafood, but strong smells such as alcohol were still bothersome to my system. And I was exhausted all the time. We heard a lot of the wild night life from our hotel room, though! We did visit the bar at our trendy boutique hotel - Hotel Borg.

Note, within weeks after we went, the banking crisis reached a furor in Iceland and the economy crashed. It probably would have been 1/3 the cost to travel after that happened. Alas...

The main shopping and walking area of Reykjavik was minutes from the hotel. Below are two photos taken of the interior of the Reykjavik Cathedral and of the city view from the top floor of the cathedral.

The most popular daytrip in Iceland is the Golden Circle, a collection of natural wonders and historical sites outside of Reykjavik. We visited the Gulfoss waterfall, Geysir, and Thingvellir National Park. The Gullfoss waterfall cascades down the white colored Hvítá River. Geysir is the home of the famous Geyser (from which the word originates) that rarely erupts and the Strokkur Geyser that erupts in 3 to 7 minute intervals. This hot springs spout boiling water to a height of 25 to 35 meters. Thingvellir National Park is the home of Iceland´s ancient Viking parliament and listed as a UNESCO´s World Heritage site.

What I most wanted to see was the Blue Lagoon, of course. The soothing, mineral-rich water is supposed to have medicinal powers. I enjoyed the contrast of the warm water with the slightly chilly air outside. Though the lagoon looks like natural landscape, it was created by run-off from the Svartsengi power plant, which pumps the geothermally heated water from a mile below the surface to generate both heat and electricity. The excess (clean) water is ejected into the lagoon.

I Believe I Can Fly

2009-09-16T21:38:00.000-04:00

I am visiting my parents this week and, as usual, I have been digging around their basement unearthing things that I had thought I'd long ago thrown away. I came across my skydiving photos. I rarely even think about that anymore so it was a treat to recall those memories.

I was living in San Francisco at the time. Do all of my memories seem to start there? I had taken the GMATs in December 2000 (for the second time) and decided to do something "crazy." My friend John had wanted to go skydiving for some time, so I called him up and said "let's do it." As soon as I returned from spending the holidays on the east coast, we made the drive down the peninsula to a place where a friend of ours had gone. It was early January 2001. My parents were in India at the time so I got a free pass from having to tell them about it. When we arrived to the place, I called my brother because I thought "what if I die and no one knows."

The type of dive we did was with a certified instructor strapped to our back. It takes weeks and a certificate to skydive on one's own, so this is the typical dive that most people do. We watched a 5 minute instructional video that was of no use at all and then met our jump partners. I knew I was in for a wild ride because my guy had ona jump suit with skull and crossbones all over it. Of course, that was my partner. We took a tiny little airplane to altitude (or 15,000 feet). There was 60 seconds of free fall during which I kept my eyes open. I thought I'd have them closed the whole time, but skydiving is not scary at all. My partner pulled the rip cord after 60 seconds and then we calmly floated down to the ground. I was so quiet that skull guy would do wild left or right turns to try to force a reaction out of me. Nothing. I 've been in scarier car rides. It was a great view but not at all like a rollercoaster ride.

When we driving back to the main area, John asked the skydivers if there ever had been any bad accidents. One guy answered that once a chute failed at the end and the jumper dropped the last 30 feet. John said "that doesn't sound so bad." The guy looked at him and said "That is bad."

Maybe this is a memory I should not be sharing with my son!

Vivid Memory

2009-09-11T23:01:00.001-04:00

I thought I'd elaborate on my memory of 9/11.

I had just moved to NYC in mid-August to start orientation week at Columbia Business School. I was temporarily living with my brother at his apartment at 33rd St between 5th and Madison Avenues. We were into the second full week of classes when the attacks happened. Since it was Tuesday, my schedule didn't start until 11AM. Thus, I had gotten up at about 9:30AM and was getting ready. I was blasting Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar on Me" on my brother's stereo (don't know why). My brother, who had Grand Jury this week and had been downtown, burst in around 10AM and shouted out "a plane flew into the World Trade Center." I thought I misheard. At the time, people thought the first plane accidentally hit the tower. My brother had jumped back on the subway and made it back before the subways were shut down and while the second plane was hitting the towers. We turned on the news and 20 minutes later watched as WTC 1 collapsed to the ground. WTC 2 had already fallen an hour earlier.

The gravity of the events hadn't hit me and I thought to myself that I needed to get to Strategy class. I stopped at Staples for batteries for my calculator and the clerks looked at me like I was crazy for coming into the store. I walked past 5th Avenue and could see the smoke clouds from downtown. When I shut my eyes, I can still conjure up this image. I kept walking. I made it to the subway on 33rd and 7th Avenue, but it was already shut down. I began the walk to Columbia (at 116th Street!) with hopes of flagging down a cab. There were hundreds of people on the streets, with no empty cabs in site. It was an orderly state of frenzy, though. I kept walking, with a backpack full of folders and my laptop computer. I was sweating and exhausted, but I kept walking. Around the West 80s, I found a cab and begged for a lift the last 20 blocks. Class was canceled, so I walked to the main building in Uris Hall. Classmates were gathered in the lobby around the TVs that were tuned to CNN. People were crying and worried about ex-coworkers. I saw one of my classmates and her reddened eyes and asked if she were okay. The next hour passed in a blur before I hopped the now working subway back home. By this time, it was known to be a terrorist attack.

It was a surreal day and so was my reaction.

Milestone: 7 Months

2009-09-03T20:50:00.002-04:00

Another month has passed and a lot has happened both physically and psychologically. Psychologically for me, too!

Eating like a champ: I already mentioned that the little one started solid foods. After apples, we returned to the squash family with yellow squash. He likes this one better than butternut and acorn or maybe it's that he's a lot more hungry and I'm not feeding him enough! I am stepping it up to 3 meals a day (oatmeal with fruit for breakfast, vegetable followed by gripe water for lunch, and oatmeal for dinner).

Formula dilemma: He drinks from a bottle, but is refusing formula. We gave him formula at the 3 month mark because I was returning to work and I didn't think I could keep up with the pumping. However, I was able to keep up by keeping a very lax schedule at work and he has been spoiled with only breastmilk. My mom forced him to have an ounce here and there in the last two weeks, but he would stop drinking and she had to switch to the milk after that. I've been mixing a little formula into his oatmeal, so that he will accept the taste again.

Crawling: He is an adept crawler at this point, much more so than at 6 months. You put him onto the ground and he quickly rolls over and takes off. You have to watch him every second because he zooms over to the TV stand that has glass doors or to the coffee table that has glass panels. Tonight, we're getting rid of the "coffee table of death" as I call it.

Love of water: The little one loves water. I think what he loves most is drinking out of a glass. He likes a sippy cup and has started holding it to control when he wants to drink, but he enjoys drinking out of a glass more than a sippy cup. When I give him gripe water in a shot glass or water in a Moroccan tea glass, he lunges for it and grabs the glass in both hands. I even was able to give him a liquidy rice cereal, which he hates, in a glass. He wants to grow up too quickly.

Sitting up and Standing: He is sitting up with ease now. He crawls, then sits, then crawls some more, takes a sitting break, etc. This past week, he started standing up unsupported. He falls down within 3 seconds, but he is able to grab hold of something (such as the "coffee table of death") and pull himself up. He is not always successful at it, yet he is persistent and I have seen him do it a handful of times now. Two days ago, my husband went into the little one's bedroom to check on him and he was standing up in the crib. It's time to drop the level a notch.

Personality: He likes to get his way. He is very clever and manipulative about it. I guess all babies are that way. He is extremely active. He will not sit still or take long naps. He adores nature and being outside. He could stare at trees for hours. He likes boy things - banging toys, diving head first into tables, playing with cars, tackling you.

Postcard: Mexico

2009-08-21T21:25:00.002-04:00

When I had visited my college friend in San Diego in 1997, she and I made a day trip to Tijuana. Since then, when people asked if I had visited Mexico, my answer had been "Not really." Fortunately, I got a taste of better parts of Mexico when my now husband and I went for Labor Day weekend 2007.

It would have been our engagement trip, except that it took 5 weeks for my engagement ring to be ready. Five weeks!! That's okay because Australia is a more exotic engagement celebration. Instead, it was our first international vacation together (yes, Mexico is international even if it seems silly to call it that). We prepared for the beach vacation by getting up at 6:30AM every morning for 5 weeks straight to go to the gym before work. We looked great! Those were the days.

As usual, I went all out in my research to determine the best places to go, the best flights, and the best itinerary to achieve all of my vacation goals. I do have my spontaneous moments during travel, but I like to be prepared before I step on the plane. I decided on beautiful Playa del Carmen and historic Chichen Itza after consulting with my co-worker friend who is Mexican. Playa lies on the Caribbean Sea and is an hour south of the Cancun Airport. I would like to visit Cancun someday, but I may have already missed the prime age to go there. Maybe when I'm reliving my college days.

Since Mexico is so cheap, I found an all-inclusive resort, Royal Hideaway Playacar, where we stayed for three days. Neither of us had visited an all-inclusive resort before and we quickly learned that this was the life. For one thing, they address you on a personal level every time they see you. This was funny because I had booked the reservation and my then boyfriend was Mr. MyLastName for the whole trip. This is also funny because, technically, he should be Dr. MyLastName. ha.

The resort had restaurants, bars, beaches, kayaks, tennis courts, etc. We ignored most of the water sports and activities and lounged on the beach all day in cabanas set up by the attentive staff. We talked about doing the activities but never got around to it. Bartenders brought us drinks right into our cabana. We only interrupted our lazy, beach time to go to the fabulous restaurants to eat our gluttonous meals. One day we walked down the road (well, we taxied there and then walked back) to Quinto Avenida (5th Avenue), the main street of the town. Not much going on unless you want to take the ferry to Cozumel or tour to Tulum. Really, there was no need to leave the Royal Hideaway.

One funny incident to note...We were oblivious to the strict dress code enforced in the hotel's three upscale restaurants. We should have read the details, but who brings formal dress attire to 90 degree heat and, for that matter, to Mexico? We had a lovely lunch at the resort's casual Spices, which featured local cuisine. We made dinner reservations at the 4 diamond pan-Asian cuisine restaurant, Azia. We arrived on time only to have them take one look at my husband in his cargo shorts and flip flops and tell us that we couldn't be seated. My flip flops were fine (reverse sexism?), but gentlemen were required to wear pants and shoes. We protested that we weren't told this only to have them point out out the mention of dress code on their website and on Expedia where I had booked the trip. Oops. Luckily, they had spare slacks for people like us and we came back after my husband changed into his borrowed pants. He had to put the flip flops back on because that's all he had, but we figured they'd let that go now that his offensive legs were covered. Wrong again. They were still unhappy about the lack of shoes so they ushered us into a private room that had a low table and pillows on the floor. That way, we had to take off our shoes and, I guess, the other diners would be saved from looking at us. Anyway, the food was awful. Maybe because we're from NYC or maybe because of our ordeal, but we did not like one thing we ate. We skipped the rest of the upscale restaurants and ate at Spices and the other casual place, The Grill, for the rest of the trip. Now, whenever we travel ANYWHERE, my husband brings dress clothes.

We left the Royal hideaway on our third day by private car to Chichen Itza. I was excited that the site was recently named one of the New 7 Wonders of the World. Check that off the list. The ruins of Chichen Itza are in the Yucatan and were built by the Mayan people. The three best known monuments are El Castillo, Temple of Warriors and the Great Ball Court. "El Castillo" (the castle) is the dominating center pyramid, which is said to cast a shadow of a serpent during the Spring and Fall equinoxes.

The Great Ball Court was the largest ball court of the time for playing the Mesoamerican ballgame. The interior walls have scuplted panels of players, serpents, a winding plant, and the games.

At night, we went to the Chichen Itza Light and Sound Show. The entire ruins area is lit up in colorful lights and sounds while you listen to the history of the area in Spanish. Unfortunately, we didn't get the headsets to translate because we didn't know the show would go on for so long. The show was spectacular.

Baby Feeding Basics

2009-08-18T22:28:00.008-04:00

Sweet potatoes -- food #1

Introducing food to your baby is an adventure. We somehow managed to make it 6 months on exclusively breast milk and then started solid foods (well, solids as in steamed and pureed and mashed up so it no longer resembles solid food) at the 6 month mark and, fortunately, my son loves to eat.

Note, at 5 months, we had begun rice cereal, which was a bit of a bust. He had developed a rash on the first day of cereal, so I immediately stopped and waited 5 days for the rash to completely clear away. The, I tried again for 2 days with another rash appearing. Our pediatrician recommended a different brand that worked for a few days by which time he was ready for solids. I stopped the cereal when I began solids, but I will re-start it tomorrow morning so that he has two meals a day. Also, he's been resisting formula these days and mixing it with cereal will help give me a break.

It's amazing to watch babies learn how to eat, e.g accepting the spoon, swallowing the food, grabbing the spoon. So far, he's had 3 days each of sweet potatoes --> carrots --> peas --> pumpkin --> green beans --> butternut squash. Acorn squash is next and then his first fruit will be pears before avocado and apples. He made faces of disgust on the first days of sweet potatoes and carrots and actual gagging on the first day of peas. He loved pumpkin while green beans were not well received. I made the squash less liquidy than the rest and he refused to open his mouth after the first bite. I added a little bottled water and he ate the rest albeit reluctantly. Today, he grabbed the spoon right out of my hand because he wanted to feed himself. He is eating a few tablespoons at each sitting.

Signs that little boo was ready for solids.

He had steady head control for months and was able to sit upright in his chair easily.

When I introduced water in a sippy cup at 5 months, his extrusion reflex made him push out his tongue to keep the cup out of his mouth. He did this a few times before he learned to drink from it. Since my mom had also taught him to take water out of a spoon, he had no problem accepting the spoon with food.

He was fascinated when my husband and I would eat in front of him. He would stare us down.

His appetite had grown tremendously in the last month and he definitely needed something extra to help keep him full.

He's more than doubled his birth weight and should be close to 15 lbs at this point.

I haven't bought ready-to-eat jars yet because I'd like to make his food at home for as long as I'm able. Making your own baby food is easy, efficient, and economical. I am using fresh (organic when possible) produce and no added ingredients. Also, it's great because on the first day when I make his vegetable of the next three days, my husband and I also eat that vegetable as a side dish during dinner. My friend recommended the BPA-free Beaba Babycook, which is fantastic. I can steam then blend the vegetable all in the Babycook. The food can be steam re-heated the next day. Also, it's easy to use and to clean.

Milestone: 6 Months

2009-08-04T22:06:00.008-04:00

The little one is continuing to grow (albeit slowly) and interact with the world around him. His day consists of going outside to the park or the college next door at least 3x a day, morning alone time with daddy, evening alone time with mommy, crawling along a comforter we've laid out in the living room, playing in the exersaucer and activity mat, banging his activity box, reading books, singing, his bath ritual, and of course, eating and napping.

We had a doctor's visit at 5 1/2 months and he weighed in at 14 .4 lbs. He's still on the small side but he has had no problem excelling at the typical milestones. He had his second set of vaccinations at this last visit and his reaction was much better than the first time. He cried immediately after the 3 vaccinations but calmed down rather quickly. When we left the doctor's office shortly thereafter, he was quietly observing the trees and cars outside. We decided to walk home since he is so enamored by the outside world and he fell asleep before we reached home and napped for the next 2 hours. He didn't have a temperature or any grouchiness. Good boy!

He's using his hands to reach (or lunge) for objects. He reaches for toys in his path or at my hair and glasses. My husband just bought an extra pair of glasses because one set is sure to get destroyed. He has a keen interest in taking newspapers or magazines out of your hands and ripping up the pages.

The little one is crawling with a purpose. Before he was balancing on his hands and knees and lunging forward because he had not figured out how to move the two in sync with each other. Now, he is slowly moving his right arm when he moves his left knee and left arm with his right knee. Thus, he is face planting less, which is a relief. So, he is officially crawling at 6 months. He is determined to make a break for our TV stand.

He loves to verbalize his thoughts. He's "reading" aloud with me and "singing" with me. He has a lot to say and sometimes he will scream (ah, the piercing scream) to get it out. He loves listening to Hindi music with my mom. I've compiled a selection of highly recommended board books and baby nursery rhymes. My husband thinks I should write a children's book because they're so simple. I realize there's a lot involved in publishing, but seriously, some pages don't even have words on them!

He is seeing the world with a new perspective. He's sitting up while balancing himself with one arm. At moments, he sits up without support. I imagine this is an eye-opener compared to lying flat on one's back at all times.

He's learning to eat and drink like a little man. Luckily, my mom had taught him to drink water out of a spoon so we did not have to train him on using a spoon for food. Yesterday, we started solid foods with mashed sweet potato. He made a face to show how disgusting he thought it was. Somehow, my mom got him to eat a good amount. He didn't seem tolike it any more on day 2, but he ate enough. We haven't seen a rash or bad reaction so we're looking to move on to carrots after one more day of sweet potatoes. Also, I introduced water in a sippy cup before 5 months and these days, he's drinking water out of his sippy cup and a glass.

And, no, he is not yet sleeping through the night. We need to tackle that one next week because my husband's mother is coming into town this week.

Postcard: Australia

2009-07-25T12:39:00.002-04:00

"The Outback"

One of my favorite travel locations of all time is Australia. Perhaps because this was our engagement celebration trip or because I had dreamed of visiting Australia since I was a young girl or because I had meticulously crafted every detail of our itinerary. I don't know what it was exactly, but I have fond, vivid memories of this trip.

My five musts - (1) Eat at the best restaurants in Sydney, (2) Snorkel/dive in Cairns, (3) Hike early AM in Uluru, (4) Admire the beautiful architecture of the Sydney Opera House, and (5) Visit the Melbourne Zoo.

Here's a glance at our day-by-day itinerary when we went in 2007. We flew with the Quantas Air Pass and booked hotels through Expedia.

NOV 20, Day 1: Arrive in Sydney @9:15 AM
Hotel: Amora Hotel Jamison Sydney - mid-priced, walkable to the wharf.
We took the ferry from Circular Quay to Manly Beach and had a beautiful view of the Sydney Harbour. I had horrible seasickness and wasn't able to eat lunch, so we took a cab back to Sydney.
Lunch: Whitewater.
Dinner: 8PM, Rockpool (awesome, rated one of the best in the world)

NOV 21 -22, Day 2/3: Sydney
Day 2: Visit the famed Bondi Beach.
Lunch: 1PM, Bondi Iceberg (stunning bar on southern end of Bondi Beach at end of the cliff walk, great for a cocktail and lunch)
Dinner: We were on the waitlist for Tetsuyas (best restaurant in Australia, need to book a long way in advance), but we overslept our reservation due to terrible jetlag. We went to Est instead, which served Mod-Oz cuisine and was excellent.
Bar close to hotel - Hemmesphere - very trendy and good drinks

Day 3: Take an early morning Harbour Bridge walk. (We didn't do the Bridge climb, though).
Brunch: harbourkitchen at Park Hyatt Sydney - very good
Good sites - Sydney Opera House tour, Royal Botanic Gardens, Queen Victoria Bldg. We attempted three times to go up the Sydney Tower, but there was fog all day. We did go to the Sydney Fish Market, but this was not a must see although we tasted Barramundi fish for the first time here and have since become addicted.
Drinks: Marble Bar in the Sydney Hilton Hotel. Excellent dirty martini.
Dinner: 8PM, Aria. The food was delicious and we had a view of the American Idol Australia finale. It was set up near the Opera House and quite a spectacle.

NOV 23, Day 4: Cairns, Arrive @11:25 AM

Hotel: Pacific Intl Hotel – Cairns (Esplanade and Spence St) - good location to walk to fleet terminal.
Not much to see in the city, but there's a massive saltwater crocodile at the Cairns Rainforest Dome, atop the Hotel Sofitel Reef Casino.
lunch: Magostin's. We loved it and went back 3 times.

NOV 24, Day 5: Day trip to the Reef
Day trips to the Great Barrier Reef leave from the Reef Fleet Terminal. We used Down Under Dive and snorkeled although they offered diving, too.

NOV 25, Day 6: Daintree Rainforest
Head to the World Heritage-listed Daintree rainforest, 2 hours drive north of Cairns using one of the many tour operators. We went with used Billy Tea's Safari Bus Tour and an hour into the trip our bus was stopped because it did not have up-to-date licensure. We then waited an hour for a new bus to pick us up. What luck! The tour guide and driver were still great and offered a very thourough knowledge of the flora and fauna. You get to feed kangaroos at one of the stops and lunch consisted of a picnic spread of tasty indigenous fruits. We went croc hunting on a river cruise.

NOV 26-27, Day 7/8: Alice Springs, Arrive @12:25 PM
Hotel: Aurora Alice Springs (11 leichardt Tce). Good location.
Attractions: Alice Springs Desert Park, the School of the Air, and the Royal Flying Doctor Service base. Visit the Alice Springs Telegraph Station historical reserve.
A lot of people skip Alice Springs and just go to Uluru. It's a dead town with no nightlife, but we bought our Aboriginal art here. And I enjoyed learning about the RFD Service. We also went to a Didgeridoo concert at night. After learning to play, my husband almost bought one of the instruments, but thought better of it.

NOV 28, Day 9: Uluru, Arrive @2:40PM
Hotel: The Lost Camel (Yulara Drive)
Take the shuttle from Ayers Rock Resort to the Rock to watch sunset over Uluru. We went to the Sounds of Silence dinner. Dinner's not great but sunset is beautiful and the Didgeridoo player added to the atmosphere.

NOV 29, Day 10: Exploring Uluru
Get up at 4AM to watch sunrise at Uluru and do the 6-mile Base Walk around Uluru, which takes 2 to 3 hours. It is exhausting and hot and the flies are extraordinarily annoying. Bring industrial strength bug spray or buy a face netting or both!

In the afternoon, we went to Kata Tjuta (also called The Olgas), about 30 miles west of Uluru.

NOV 30, Day 11: Arrive Melbourne @3:20PM
We arose at 4AM again the next day for a sunrise camel ride. All tours were booked through the Ayers Rock Resort.

Following the camel ride, we flew out to Melbourne for the last leg of our trip.
Hotel: Melbourne Marriott Hotel (marriott points), Exhibition & Lonsdale Streets
We visited the Federation Square and Queen Victoria Market.

DEC 1, Day 12: Day in Melbourne
Melbourne Zoo.
DEC 2, Day 13: Melbourne to Los Angeles, leave @12:40PM

From Brown to Green

2009-07-20T17:39:00.004-04:00

Omnipresent recycling bins at Brown University

"No. Brown - the college."
I became an environmentalist in college. It wasn't difficult as Brown is slightly militant about the environment and may as well have been called Green University. And Rhode Island was a leader in state recycling regulation. However, environmentalism was not the trendy thing to do circa 1992. The majority of people did not recycle (without a money incentive) or conserve resources and many of those scoffed at the "earthy-crunchy" people who did.

Before first year began, we were introduced to the university via a series of outreaches. Recycling was one of those workshops, in addition to those on sex, sexual orientation, race/ethnicity, international awareness and countless others. Brown is a politically charged environment. But, the Recycling outreach was a funny one...in the sense that we made fun of it. Well, we made fun of all the workshops, but Recycling would live in infamy. A very serious workshop leader explained to us the nuances of recycling. Most of what I knew was that I could collect 5 cents for every aluminum can and plastic or glass soda bottle that I brought back to the grocery store and I should toss used paper into the blue plastic bins at the law firm where I worked my senior year of high school. That was a naive understanding. Aluminum cans and plastic containers must be separated from bottles. Newspapers are separated from magazines and glossy inserts from the Sunday paper. And, let's not forget, mixed office paper. The outreach leader kept repeating this phrase so quickly that it seemed like one word. My roommate and I posted the Word of the Day (or WOTD) on our dorm room door and "MixtOfficePaper" would become one of those words.

But, that outreach was just the beginning of our learning. There were large recycling bins on every floor of every dorm, as well as, throughout the campus walk. At every napkin dispenser at the main dining halls were signs posted that said "Take only 1 or 2 napkins, please!!," with 1or 2 underlined several times. To this day, I cringe when I see people grab a handful of napkins. I can only take one...or two. The various snack bars sold reusable mugs designed by students that we could bring back for soda and drink refills at a discount. Of course, we would use our leftover dining credit to buy several mugs per semester and thus defeat the purpose of this, but we did take notice of the effort.

In my everyday life, I slowly and knowingly transformed into a environmentally conscientious being. I am very thankful for that.

View of Downtown San Francisco

"San Francisco is the new Brown"
I dutifully conserved energy and recycled at the office and at home after I learned to be an environmentalist at Brown. But, it wasn't until I lived in San Francisco from 1997-2001 that I appreciated the importance of being more environmentally aware of the world and our bodies.

San Francisco was like Brown except the real world. The Bay Area had always been at the forefront of the green movement - people shopped at Whole Foods (dubbed "Whole Paycheck" because of the premium prices), ate alfalfa sprouts for meals, slathered on Burt's Bees products, and worked 9-5 so that they could be outdoors every minute possible. Many of the hotspots in SF were eco-friendly, which made it easier to adapt to such a lifestyle.

When I lived there, I ate less meat, bought organic foods once in a while, used organic skincare products here and there, and tried to get into hiking/kayaking/fishing/sailing. Notice that I was half-hearted about everything, though. Eating less meat meant I ate more pasta, organic products were so expensive that I never converted completely, and outdoorsy activities weren't exactly my passion. But, like at Brown, I gained a new mindset and greater appreciation for a natural way of living.

Postcard: Cape Cod and Martha's Vineyard

2009-07-17T22:31:00.007-04:00

We went on our first family vacation to Cape Cod and Martha's Vineyard during the week of the July 4th holiday. Then, I spent the two weeks post-vacation recovering from my exhaustion. Spending hours driving with an almost 5 month old was horrible. My son hates being cooped up in a car and he hates sitting in a car seat even more. Mere words cannot convey the horror of listening to your child screaming in a tiny, cramped car (Although National claims our Chevy Malibu is "full-size," that's not the case when you cram your Bugaboo stroller into the front seat).

My son did, however, adjust well to the many stops we made along the way to break up the drive. I am extremely happy that he enjoys meeting new people. We left Manhattan around 10 AM on June 27th and stopped first in CT an hour and a half away to visit friends. We arrived in the nick of time, as he was just about to lose it. He was able to eat, nap, play with my friend's two kids, and eat again before leaving. My friend's son is 9 days younger than my son and they had a blast looking at each other and laughing. The photos of them together are priceless. Next, we had the longest stretch of the trip (3 hours!) to just outside of Boston where we stayed overnight at my cousin's. This was a nightmare drive until he fell asleep for about 40 minutes. Once again, he was just about to lose it when we arrived at our destination. My cousin has two kids and a house full of baby gear, which made our night so easy. After three delicious home cooked meals here, we left on the hour and a half drive to Chatham. After a week on the Cape, we traveled two hours to Providence on July 3rd to visit friends and my alma mater before driving two more hours to our CT. We visited my husband's alma mater in New Haven the next day before driving another two hours NJ to visit my parents in the afternoon and spend the night at the house of my husband's Uncle and family in Princeton. We returned to my parents the next day and on our return to Manhattan, we stopped at my brother's in NJ. To recap the whole trip, that was four family visits, two friends visits, two college visits, two rest area stops, and two vacation spots. I am impressed at my son's flexibility and adaptability. I think he was disoriented by waking up in so many different locations.

Ahh, on to the vacation...

Chatham is a quaint New England town that lies in the elbow of the Cape and is a popular summer resort town. English settlers named the town after Chatham, England. "Quaint" is the word to describe a sort of trip back in time, I believe. It is the euphemism to describe why our hotel room had such an old feel to it. Quaint means "back to basics" or "lacking modern touches." That said, the Chatham Bars Inn was a lovely place to stay and I highly recommend the location and its restaurants. It is considered one of the nicest hotels on the Cape and this was where my husband's medical conference was held. I learned later that one of my high school friends whom I've reconnected with on Facebook was married here. Mostly we were hotel bound because (1) it was a rainy and foggy week and (2) there's not much else to see in Chatham. The hotel had a private beach and pool and was a 15 minute walk to Main Street, which is were all of the "quaint" shops and stores were.

We wandered to the hotel's beach the first day where we played Frisbee in front of the little one. The second day, we took him for his first swim. Thankfully, his bath time has taught him to love water and he took the pool quite easily. Aside from room service, my husband and I were only able to enjoy one meal together in the restaurants as one of us always had to take the little one for a stroll while the other ate. The little guy gets bored sitting in one place. He fell asleep during our last breakfast there and finally my husband and I ate together albeit without speaking a word for fear of awaking him up.

Little boo-boo's first swim.

In the middle of the week, we went to Martha's Vineyard for a quick visit. During our ferry ride, I learned that the land was first settled by the Wampanoag tribe. The island's name came from English explorer Bartholomew Gosnald who named it for his daughter and because the land was covered by wild grapes. We spent a night at the Harbor View Hotel & Resort, which was situated across from the Edgartown Lighthouse. While here, we had a great meal of oysters, lobster and clam chowder at the Seafood Shanty. We, also, shopped at one of the famed Black Dog stores and picked up the t-shirts I saw so much of during my high school years.
The easternmost town, Edgartown, is considered the nicest one to visit. Our shuttle driver told us was that Jaws was filmed here although Steven Spielberg called the town Amity in the movie. Apparently, this was an ideal place for filming because the waters are shallow and the film crew was able to stand knee-deep in the water to film many of the shots. Many landmarks and buildings in Edgartown that were filmed in the movie can still be seen today.

Summer residents enjoy a simple kind of life. Beautiful flowers, including these purple and blue tinted ones cover people's yards.

Happy 4th of July New England style. Houses have a distinct Victorian style on the Vineyard.

Milestone: 5 Months

2009-07-08T10:24:00.013-04:00

Everything your child does is a milestone as a first time mom and I don't want to forget any of the monumental stages of development that my son is undergoing. While we were on vacation in Cape Cod, my son reached the 5 month mark and this is a good point for me to start recording what is happening in his life. When I think about it, I should have started sooner because there is so much to detail. I'd hate to look back when my son (hopefully) has kids and not remember anything.

He loves people. He will go to anyone and enjoys studying people's faces. The other day he was on the brink of a breakdown because he doesn't like sitting in the stroller and not being able to look around. I took him out just as we entered the park and he went silent because he was excited to see the people everywhere. Even if his diaper is wet, he will not make a peep while we are outside because he is busy people watching.

Since he turned one month, I've been giving him an oil massage every day before bath time. I think this has helped his legs grow strong and helped with his umbilical hernia. He enjoys his bath routine. If he's crying and I start his massage, he gets quiet immediately and then gets excited when I pick him up to carry him to the bathtub.

He has the cutest little laugh. He started laughing - a true laugh, not the squeal he's had for the last few months - the week before we left for vacation. It's such a great joy figuring out new ways to make him laugh. The Superman hold works, as well as, games of peek-a-boo. It cracks him up when I look away from him, then turn back around and act shocked that he's there.

He flipped over from his back to the stomach at 5 weeks and then took another few weeks before he did it again and consistently. It's adorable to watch him clasp his hands and throw his legs to one side to gain the momentum to flip over. It took a week or so for him to learn to pull out the left arm from underneath his body. At first, he always went to his left side so I when I needed to block him, I would put a soft toy to his left. At this point, he flips over every single time we place him on his back and he'll go in either direction. While we were on vacation, he learned to flip from back to front to the back again. This has become an adventure.

He is crawling, mostly by propelling himself with his legs. This began at about 4 months, 2 weeks. He has very strong legs and uses them to power his way across the bed. He's now learning to swing his arms to help him move but has not completely put it all together. Now, I must watch him constantly because he immediately flips around and is on the move. There is a point where he falls from his knees into an almost sitting up position. He's trying to sit up andthat may be the next thing he does.

He has been extremely verbal from the start. I think this is because my mom talks to him all day long. He squeals, babbles, talks to animal decals on his wall, chats on the phone with his grandfather, etc. Of course, there is also the spontaneous screaming for no reason that started at the 4 month mark. That was no so nice but has now subsided.

He had started playing with his toes and he got his toes into his mouth while we were on the Cape. That is a site to see.

He is a ridiculously light sleeper. He hears every little noise and has not been a good napper because of this. We're slowly training him to take good afternoon naps in his cribs and just this week we had noise reduction windows installed to cut out the loud street noise. We're happy if he makes it an hour. Sometimes, he wakes up crying and in great distress. I think he has bad dreams or hears a noise that disturbs his slumber. He sleeps okay at night though he still wakes up to eat a a couple of times. He will have one 4-5 hour stretch and then a 3 hour stretch. Sometimes he wakes up at 6AM and stays awake, which is rough. We're trying to get him on a 7AM schedule. At night, we'd like him to fall asleep between 7-7:30PM, but he's more toward 8:30PM for now.

At 4 and a half months, I introduced him to water in a sippy cup. My mom has gotten him to drink out of a glass and a spoon, too. He grips the cup (or glass or bottle) with both hands and pulls toward his mouth when he wants to drink and pushes away when he's had enough. The week after vacation, I started him on rice cereal mixed with breast milk.

This week he's begun using his hands more and reaches out with an open hand toward my face. He likes to feel my face and grab my mouth as I'm talking. This is adorable.

There are so many more things now that I think about it. I should be keeping track more regularly.

Where were you when...

2009-06-25T21:14:00.009-04:00

Tonight, I am thinking about monumental moments that I've witnessed during my life thus far. Unfortunately, this means thinking about the negative things and the impact those events left. There are many moments to choose from, so I've narrowed it down to the ones in which I can clearly remember what I was doing and where I was.

Where were you when...

9/11 - I had just moved to Manhattan in August 2001 to start business school. That September morning, I was getting ready for my 10AM class when my brother came home from Grand Jury duty and announced that two planes had crashed into the WTC. I was temporarily living with him at 33rd Street and 5th Ave, and I could see the giant clouds of smoke by looking down 5th Ave.

Space Shuttle Challenger disaster - I was in 6th grade math class in 1986 when our teacher Mrs. Clarke told us. I grew up in Plymouth, MA and the NH teacher Christa McAuliffe was a hero in New England.

Prince Charles and Princess Diana marry- In the days before youtube video and Hulu replays, I woke up early that morning in July 1981 to watch the grand nuptials. For an American, I was really into the Royals.

Princess Diana dies- When Diana died in 1997, I was in Germany in the middle of a Euro-tour with my parents. A few days later, we arrived in Paris and saw for ourselves the hundreds of flower bouquets placed at the tunnel where her car crashed. Two days after that, we arrived in London and saw the thousands of bouquets in front of Buckingham Palace. It was incredible to be in London at the time. I remember Elton John's remake of Candle in the Wind being released while I was still in England.

Hurricane Katrina hits - I had just started my job at ESPN in NYC on August 8, 2005. Katrina hit at the end of the month. The video footage kept getting worse and worse.

San Francisco World Series earthquake - I was in high school in 1989 and watching the game on TV. I was an A's fan and it's hard to remember that they won the title after play resumed. It's funny, I said that's why I could never live in SF and then eight years later I moved there. I felt one earthquake in the four years that I lived there.

Michael Jackson dies - I was at home in NYC today playing with my son and read the breaking news on tmz.com. He was such a large part of my memory from my early years. I was a huge fan in the 4th grade, still a fan in middle school, and then disillusioned in the later high school years.

Postcard: Grand Canyon

2009-06-20T11:47:00.012-04:00

My husband and I went to the Grand Canyon August 3, 2007. I was in Las Vegas for a Fantasy Football convention thanks to my job at ESPN. My husband joined me for the weekend and we signed up for an all day trip to the Grand Canyon South Rim via short flight and then bus with the tour group Viator. For us, this was the way to go as I can't imagine spending more than a day or two, but it was a perfect combo with Vegas. My college friend P., who is quite adventurous, had spent a week there and hiked to the bottom of the canyon. We're not as athletic and as outdoorsy as P., though. Hopefully, we'll make a family trip someday and try more of the hikes and view other sides of the canyon.

There's not much else to say and I'll let the photos speak for themselves.

Why I Travel

2009-06-18T22:40:00.008-04:00

It seems laughable to me to ask why I travel. However, many people find it unpleasant to travel outside the United States because of the hassles - passport and visa applications, or the jet lag, or the airport waits, or the terror alerts or the luggage required to tote the kids along (this last one I wholly understand). So, the question does require self-reflection. I have never known how to tackle the question "what are you passionate about," but travel does come the closest to an answer I could give.

One, I love to learn new things. In grade school, my favorite part of history class was the age of the Explorers - Columbus, Balboa, Cartier, de Soto, etc. I imagined myself to be an Explorer. New experiences and old histories combine to expand my knowledge of the world. You can't truly get a sense of the people of a country without meeting and conversing with them even if you are bargaining over souvenirs on the side of the road in South Africa. You can't truly understand a culture unless you become completely absorbed in the surroundings, such as sipping coffee on Les Ramblas in Barcelona.

Two, there is the adventure aspect. A travel experience is never the same twice as each locale offers a fresh look at another person's normal mode of life. For someone with my short attention span and quickly changing interests, traveling is the ideal way to keep me entertained. With the way I overload my itineraries, my mind never has a chance to rest. I traveled the long flights from Rio to Iguazu Falls to the Amazon on a 12-day itinerary because I didn't want to visit the country and not see everything that I could. I knocked off Iceland over a long weekend with a Golden Circle tour and a visit to the Blue Lagoon.

Three, I like to pick up the languages. I never took Spanish in high school but I take pleasure in being able to understand words here and there when I was when I was walking around Sevilla or dining in Buenos Aires. In Paris, I was thrown by the speed with which everyone spoke, but I was able to understand the majority of what was said thanks to my five years of studying French. Even more rewarding is when in Mumbai, I could make why way around because I know enough of my family language to ask native people for directions.

Four, I enjoy seeing the Art and Architecture that I've studied in textbooks in real life. Italy was not my ideal place because of the long lines and rude people, but I would never pass on the chance to see the paintings and sculptures I studied in European History class. Craning my neck to take in the Sistine Chapel, recognizing Botticelli's work at Uffizi, and racing through the Accademia Gallery to view David are among my favorite travel memories.

Five, I am obsessed with planning and details. When my college friend P. and I traveled through Spain, I printed scores of information off the Internet and meticulously cut out maps and site descriptions and created my own travel guidebooks with thorough comments about our schedule. I even ordered the sites in terms of importance and the most time effective manner of visiting. When I visited Australia, I had a day by day itinerary, with every detail about our hotels, dinner reservations, tours, and must see sites.

I cannot imagine a life without travel. I hope my son adopts this passion. I've decorated his nursery with safari animals, a globe, an aboriginal painting from Australia, a Moroccan rug, a map of the London tube, and a poster of the '98 World Cup in France. I know it's tough to travel with one's parents, but I hope to see the wonderment in his eyes as he discovers new things and gains a perspective on life.

25 Random Things for My Son to Know

2009-06-16T20:01:00.009-04:00

There was a list circulating Facebook that asked the user to list 25 random things that would be interesting for others to know about him/her. I refused make such a public list in Facebook, yet here I am doing it for on my blog.

I enjoy being a mother more than I ever imagined. I am so happy when my son laughs or sighs or kicks his legs. It makes my day when I come home from work and he catches sight of me and breaks into a huge smile.

I love travel…any travel. I was as excited to visit the St. Louis Gateway Arch as I was to take a boat ride down the Amazon River.

Parents should give their children the freedom of choice when it matters. My parents would've preferred I went to a different college, or that I traveled to less risky places than South Africa, or that I lived closer to home after college. I'm glad I don't need to expend energy resenting them for imposing their will.

I will drop everything for my good friends.

I comb the web for free stuff and bargains. My friend K. and I developed this habit when we worked together thirteen years ago at Greenwich Associates. You can call it one of my passions.

I am politically correct. And I think people should stop making excuses for why they shouldn't have to be considerate of other people's feelings/race/culture/point of view.

I am remarkably lazy. I'm not exaggerating.

I expect people to upkeep their grammar and writing even if it is an email or text or blog or tweet.

I was blase about wedding planning and did not think it was "the most important day of my life." If it had been, I would've been upset that I hadn't accomplished more before getting married.

I do not subscribe to any particular religious belief, but I believe in being a good person, following your fate, and accepting the consequences of your actions.

I am not an academic snob until you force me to be.

I am annoyed by people who say they can't pronounce a "foreign" sounding name or word.

I have an unbelievable memory, which is sometimes a curse. I will remember exactly what people say and I know when people contradict themselves.

I live my life with empathy and without hypocrisy. When you want to open your mouth to tell someone how they've wronged you, think about how you've wronged them. Then, shut it.

If you want to engage me in a fight, then remember that I have a good memory and that I will hold a grudge.

My husband amazed me on our very first date. I called my college friend W. afterward and told him that I thought this guy was too smart for me.

My father is still the smartest person I know.

I am equal to my husband in intelligence, life experience, and our marriage. I hope my son seeks the same.

I did not leave my heart in San Francisco, but it was one of my best life experiences to live there on my own for four years.

My biggest regret is not studying abroad while in college.

I hope my son learns from my mistakes and appreciates his Indian heritage sooner than I did. I am proud of my culture and my parents, but it took me a while to get here.

I believe in Boston sports...and so will any child of mine!

I don't like to drink alcohol. And I don't think I will ever again.

I believe one of us is right and you're wrong.

I am happy with myself, proud of my accomplishments, and confident of my self-worth. It took me a while to feel this way.

My Essentials for the Baby Registry

2009-06-15T21:56:00.003-04:00

It's been a wonderful 4 and half months since my son entered this world. He is on the brink of crawling and has settled into a sleep/eat pattern although he's not sleeping through the night yet. It is a steep learning curve, but I've developed an instinct for my son's needs and wants and motherhood has become an adventure.

My b-school friend A., who is about to have a son herself, asked me to share my old registry list with her and asked what was useful and what was not so useful. Being an early bird type, I had created my registry about five months before my son was born using such guides as Baby Bargains and hundreds of online registry lists. I drove myself crazy reading at least 20 reviews of everything before deciding on brands and types. It is fun but overwhelming combing through the myriad products and gear that are available for babies today.

The baby industry is similar to the wedding industry, so don't believe the must have checklists out there. Knowing what I know now, many of my items were unnecessary. Below are the ones that have been the most essential for the first four months.

Diapers, baby wipes and vaseline - It's hard to know beforehand what diapers will work for you as babies are particular. For newborn, I used Pampers Swaddlers because they were sensitive to the umbilical cord area, but now, I prefer eco-friendly diapers with less dyes and chemicals. Seventh Generation didn't fit that well but are 100% natural, so I continue to buy them. Huggies Pure & Natural fit well but aren't as natural as you'd think, but I consider them a good compromise. Seventh Generation baby wipes are chlorine and fragrance free and also thin, which I like. Vaseline is an awesome product overall! In fact, diaper rash cream is not necessary until you have a rash issue. The Baby Trend Diaper Champ was perhaps not needed but makes life easier.

Diaper bag: Get yourself a chic diaper bag! You'll carry it everywhere and might as well look trendy. I had one from Kate Spade that didn't work well for me because it was hard to carry around the city. Then, I got a messenger bag from Skip Hop and a shoulder bag from Fleurville. Both very cute.
Car seat, stroller, and Baby Bjorn: The Graco Snugride car seat is top rated and the SnugRider car seat frame stroller. This combo has been invaluable because as a city dweller, I take cabs to the Pediatrician or to activities and this stroller is light and simpler than my Bugaboo. That said, for navigating the sidewalks of New York City, the Bugaboo is fantastic - a smooth ride for baby. I bought mine gently used from craigslist.org. My son loves going outside in the Baby Bjorn because he can see more than when in the stroller.

Nursing needs: For the nursing pillow, I got the Boppy at first, and then my b-school friend S. suggested the Breast Friend pillow, which I prefer because it is firmer and isn't always slipping. It is more of an effort to strap on this pillow, but is stays in place. The Boppy is good at night when I don't want to wake up to strap on the pillow. Both have their uses, so I'm glad I have both. Get a tube of Lansinoh lanolin for the soreness of the first few weeks of breastfeeding. Get a motorized breast pump - I used Ameda and got started early. I rented the hospital grade pump for the first month until I had a good supply of milk going. Also, have plenty of storage bags handy and start storing immediately.

Bath time - I start the bath routine with an allover massage to stimulate digestion and growth. Use a plant based oil, such as sesame oil. The Eurobath is a good bathtub and I bought a floatie raft to fit inside, which has been even more useful for the early months when he's too small to sit up. California Baby Super Sensitive body wash and lotion are eco-friendly and free of fragrance.

Sleep - SwaddleDesigns blankets are the best for serious swaddling. The Arm's Reach co-sleeper sits next to the bed and is good for the first few months of life, but you could also skip this and go straight to the crib. Two must have sleep related books - Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and The Happiest Baby on the Block. The Ikea crib is made of sustainable wood, highly rated on consumer reports, and cheap.

Feeding - Dr Brown's BPA free bottles are safe and the Munchkin bottle brush set is great for cleaning them. We tried Enfamil formula a few times but have stuck to mostly breastmilk for the first four months (and hopefully six). We have a space saver high chair ready to go, as well as, sippy cups and straw cups and soft spoons. The Beaba Babycook is good for steaming/blending/reheating homemade food. The cookbook Feeding Baby: Everyday Recipes for Healthy Infants and Toddlers provides healthy recipes separated by appropriate age group and the cookbook The Baby Bistro Cookbook: Healthy, Delicious Cuisine for Babies, Toddlers, and You was recommended by my good friend J.
Play - He doesn't play with many toys right now, but the Whoozit toy is his favorite. Graco Pack 'n' Play - he's in this every day either kicking his legs at the Whoozit or napping. He's learning to swing his arms more thanks to an activity mat.

Other: Buy a rectal thermometer and grooming tools (hair and nails grow fast).

As for clothing and blankets, we took as many hospital outfits and hospital receiving blankets that we could. Stockpile whatever you can get from the hospital - formula, nasal aspirator, combs, pacifiers, outfits, blankets, crib pad.

No matter what you buy, you will be ready. You don't need the newest toy or most expensive stroller to give your baby your love and attention. Those are the essentials.

Postcard: New Zealand

2009-06-11T22:11:00.022-04:00

H o neymoon Part II

While Tahiti provided the relaxing tropical vacation, New Zealand offered adventure and culture. My two goals were (1) to visit Maori country as I had enjoyed the movie Whale Rider when I had seen it in the summer of 2003 and (2) to drive through the South Island and see the landscape for which NZ is recognized.

We landed in Auckland but spent almost no time there, which is unfortunate because my family has good friends and extended family who live there and a few of them had even sent us wedding gifts. But, we had a busy itinerary and left early morning on a Great Sights motorcoach tour that took us from Auckland to the Waitomo Caves to Rotorua.

We drove through the Waikato region to the Waitomo Caves - subterranean limestone caverns that house Glow Worms. What was especially nice was when to test the acoustics of the cavern, our tour group sang "happy birthday" to my husband because it was his 35th birthday on this day. (My 34th birthday had passed on the flight from LA to Tahiti, which was not so exciting and very tiring. It did help us get better seats, though). We spent the evening in Rotorua, a town that smells like sulphur, i.e, rotten eggs. It was a horrible smell but after a few hours, you stop noticing. We walked along Lake Rotorua, but our big adventure was that night when we visited Tamaki Village, a recreated Maori village featuring tribal songs/dances and a banquet of foods cooked on hot rocks and earthen ovens.

Kia Ora (the Maori greeting meaning "be well")! Now, the experience was touristy, but we met real Maori people who helped upkeep the traditions of their ancestors as their livelihood. It reminded me of Plimoth Plantation. It was a cultural experience and I got a great photo of my husband with two Maori people while doing the tribal yell. The next day, we went to geothermal springs in Rotorua and took a sulphur mud bath. That stuff is good for something - it's great for your skin!

After this quick visit to the North Island, we flew to Christchurch to experience the beautiful landscapes of New Zealand. We rented a car and I left the driving on the other side of the road to my husband. Driving on the same side was tough enough in Spain.

Christchurch is the largest city in the South Island and has a quaint albeit boring main Victoria Square, with the Chirstchurch Cathedral and pretty botanic gardens. We had a delicious dinner at Indochine, a fusion of Asian and NZ cuisine. For our day trip the next day, we were undecided over Hanmer Springs (spas and hot springs), Waipara Valley (vineyards), and Kaikoura (whale watching). We chose Kaikoura - a big mistake. The drive there was beautiful, but it was a terribly windy day and the waters were choppy. We had a tasty crayfish lunch at The Craypot before heading to the whale watch.

Despite the warnings of "severe seasickness conditions" and the weary looks on the faces of the just embarked passengers, we boarded the boat. The boat ride was miserable. Soon, a man behind us was getting sick, which made me feel ill. We saw a boat across the way getting tossed about the waves and we said, "those people are going to die." They must have said the same of us. However, the crew persevered (maybe because the company offered guarantee of seeing a whale or 100% money back). About an hour in, we saw the tail tip of a sperm whale for a few seconds and the crew called it a day immediately. I still remember clinging to the deck to keep from falling over and the churning inside my stomach. To their credit, the whale watch company refunded 80% of our money.

Thankfully, we made it to a vineyard on the way back; thus saving the day from being wasted. The friendly owner, Daniel Schuster, confused then guilted us into buying three bottles of wine, though.

On to better parts of the honeymoon... Early the next morning, we departed for Queenstown. The photo above is of Lake Tekapo, one of the most photographed sites in NZ. The water really is as turquoise blue as it appears. Gorgeous! We took several photos here and stopped for lunch at a very good Japanese restaurant before marching on to Queenstown.

We were exhausted from the 6 hour drive, but ready for the next morning's coach tour through the Southern Alps to the Milford Sound. We saw Silver Fern (the photo at the beginning of this blog) and mountainous landscape.

We arrived at the Milford Sound for a scenic cruise along the sound to the Tasman Sea while passing Mitre Peak. A final highlight to our vacation was the quick, small plane flight back to Queenstown. What a sight! Flying around New Zealand is amazing because of the views of the lush green landscapes and the glacier topped mountains.
On our last full day, we signed up for a LOTR tour. This was not all that exciting as the movie used scenery as a backdrop but added so much digital animation that one would never guess where many of the scenes took place. Still, we enjoyed more scenery.

That was the end of our honeymoon. Kia Ora!

Postcard: Bora Bora

2009-06-07T22:43:00.015-04:00

Honeymoon Part I

I had dreamed of a Tahitian honeymoon , so when my husband and I were debating places to go, a stopover in Bora Bora was an absolute must on my list. My well-travelled friend C. had visited the islands twice with her family and she said Bora Bora was the most beautiful place she'd ever seen. She even said the neighboring islands, such as Moorea, did not even compare and that there was something extra special about Bora Bora. Following our wedding in March 2008, we left to discover this special something for ourselves.

We were not disappointed. We were exhausted from wedding planning and the family stresses of getting married. What we needed was a beautiful, tropical spot where we would not feel the need to do anything. And that's what we did (or didn't do, I guess). For 5 days and 4 nights, we lounged in our overwater bungalow, read several books, ate the foods that we had stopped eating during our pre-wedding diet, snorkeled, slept a lot, and soaked in the gorgeous scenery.

Of course, Bora Bora is also one of the most expensive places in the world. It's a good thing we did not want to do too many activities - a day of sailing cost $2K. A burger, fries and soda at lunch was about $40 per person. We stayed at the Pearl Beach Resort on Motu Tevairoa, which meant that it was a boat ride to go to the mainland of Bora Bora, but we had a beautiful view of the mountains. Highlights included dinner at the finest restaurant on the island - La Villa Mahana, drinks at Bloody Mary's, a 4WD jeep safari of the mainland, a traditional dance performance, and my husband buying me a Tahitian pearl as a memento.

If our honeymoon had ended here, I would've been more than satisfied, but luckily, we had 8 more days to go in New Zealand.

Chicken Curry for the Indian Mother's Soul

2009-06-04T21:09:00.011-04:00

I enjoy cooking. I first dabbled in the kitchen my senior year at Brown when I went off meal plan along with my college roommate P. She and I mostly made some sort of stir fry or some sort of pasta dish EVERY day. Every so often we'd cook with our roommate M., who had far superior culinary skills and we'd learn a thing or two. I whip up her homemade cherry cobbler when I want to look like I know something about baking.

Once I graduated, I moved to Greenwich, CT and met my roommate A. who also loved to cook. She and I would spend countless wasted hours at work printing every recipe available on the web it seemed. Our first night in our apartment, we made lobster, which remains a traumatic experience to this day. I'll just say that our pots were not big enough for the lobsters and one of them struggled as we dropped him in. When we moved a year later, we went to the grocery store and bought the prepared lobster as our final meal in the apartment. Mmmm, lobster that someone else has prepared for you is the best.

That one bad episode aside, cooking is a great respite from work life. When I moved to San Francisco, I was on my own for the first time and got into the habit of cooking almost every night. I picked at least one new recipe a week to learn something and vary my diet. I loved it. Unfortunately, when I moved to NYC, I completely got out of the habit of cooking. Take out is so cheap and easy and the city offers so many fantastic restaurants that the time commitment of cooking and the expense of buying groceries just wasn't worth it.

But, now I am a mom and want to ensure that my family eats healthy so I'm back to cooking almost every night. Even while handling a 4-month old who requires constant attention and amusement, cooking is once again a relaxing and happy part of my day.

When I moved to San Francisco, my mom wrote out many of her Indian recipes for me (although I still had to call her every 10 minutes when I was following them for some reason). I have always meant to type up her chicken curry recipe, so I would have it forever, especially now that the original notebook page is yellowed from the turmeric and falling apart from the oil spills.

Chicken Curry or Biriyani

Cut the chicken (breast and legs) into small pieces. Wash the chicken with warm water 3 to 4 times and drain.
Grind ginger and garlic (2 tsp each). Add 1 tsp each of red hot pepper and turmeric powder and 3 tbls oil. Mix all these ingredients with salt to taste.
Add the chicken and mix well. Set aside.
Put a pan on the stove with medium heat. Add oil (about 1/4 cup) and heat. Put in whole black pepper (2 or 3), 2 to 3 cloves and small cinnamon stick. Let it heat for a while before adding chopped (1 whole) onion.
Add the spiced chicken pieces and stir and cook until the chicken is well done.
Add 2 diced potatoes and cook again. When potatoes are done, add the tomato sauce and cook again. Add 1 tsp garam masala and then turn turn off the heat.
Mix with the cooked rice if needed (for biriyani)

Your Mother's Maiden Name?

2009-05-31T13:52:00.012-04:00

My name is my identity, my history. My dad picked my first name, my cultural tradition determined my middle name, and my family caste dictated my surname. I did not take my husband's name when we were married. Many men insist that their wives change their name, but I think it's my choice and my husband agrees. My son shares his middle name with me and his last name with his father and even without a shared last name, we are a united family.

In the 1850s, Lucy Stone from Massachusetts (my home state) was the first recorded American woman to keep her name. In 1921, the Lucy Stone League of New York (where I live now) promoted the preservation of women's names. This group was openly chided and most women, regardless of education or career levels, continued to change their names upon marriage. During the 1970s, more women decided against changing their names. Hillary Rodham did not change her name; however, this offended many Arkansas voters who thought she did not support her husband. When her husband re-ran for Governor in 1982, she referred to herself Mrs. Bill Clinton. During his presidential run, she was Hillary Rodham Clinton, which again rubbed people the wrong way. In her 2008 presidential race, she was simply Hillary.

In 2009, a minority of married couples do not share the same last name. Is there a reason why a woman should change her name but a man should not? Several of my female friends have kept their names and this practice is no longer considered a political issue, but rather a personal preference. I married just before my 34th birthday. My name is on two academic degrees and four filled passports. My name is recognized by my colleagues and peers in my industry. My name makes it easier for old friends to find me on Facebook or Google searches.

A potential upside of changing your name is that you will share a name with your children, but I pondered if that mattered when I found out I was pregnant. I feel no less bonded to my son when I give his name at the Pediatrician's office. It would be convenient because I wouldn't have to explain that we are married and he is my son even though we have different last names. Luckily, I do not feel the need to explain this to anyone.

There are people who will refer to me as Mrs. Husband'sLastName. Some traditionalists (and members of my husband's family :) just won't oblige. It doesn't bother me because sometimes I like it and maybe someday, I will change my name. Again, it's my choice.

How will my son choose to answer when banks ask for his mother's maiden name as his password? Do I have a maiden name if I never changed my name? What is my married name? Am I a Mrs.? There are no rules to guide us. He could explain that my maiden and married names are one in the same. He could state that I don't have a maiden name when he is feeling combative. Or he could just say "Patel" and be done with it. I hope he chooses well.

Postcard: South Africa

2009-05-29T22:50:00.009-04:00

Around Thanksgiving 2005, my b-school friend R. and I traveled to South Africa for 12 days. We packed in as much as we could with a 4-day safari, a short stay in Pretoria with extended family from my dad's side, and a few days in beautiful Cape Town to conclude the whirlwind trip. Visiting South Africa was a chance to see incredible natural wildlife and seascapes and to witness the racial politics that divide the region.

Safari
We flew into Jo'burg and left for Kruger National Park the next morning. It was so wonderful to have family to arrange a personal jeep tour for us with pickup from their home in Pretoria.

This is how we met Hendrick, our personal tour guide and South African man down to the core. He picked up two single ladies and was determined to engage us in conversation. R. and I were feeling anti-social and possibly rude, which is too bad in retrospect. However, he soldiered on and covered AIDS, corrupt South African politics, race relations between whites-blacks-Indians, the state of Townships, safari animals, food. He was knowledgeable about a diversity of topics. He, also, was not very fond of black-Africans or Indians (R. and I are both Indian, but he didn't seem to mind us). He told us 80% of black-Africans have AIDS. He enlightened us on the tense race relations among the black-Africans and mixed race Africans. He told us about the jail system. He was also flirting and trying very hard to pique our interest. At the very end of the four days after getting no reaction from us, he mentioned something about getting a gift for his girlfriend's birthday. What! I love meeting such characters on my travels.

Hendrick was an astounding tour guide. He knew every animal, every bird, and every bit of history of the land and the area along the 4-5 hour drive from Pretoria to Kruger. He made every effort to show us as many animals as possible during our 2.5 days of safari. The safari was amazing and one of the best travel experiences I have ever had. We saw elephants, rhinos, buffalo, lions, giraffes, baboons, monkeys, antelope, impala, wildebeest, zebra, hippos, crocodiles, ostrich, cheetah, and hyena, as well as, numerous birds.

A Monkey Stole My Lunch
Hendrick warned us. Of course, R. and I were barely listening as he told us two or three times to stay away from the monkeys at the picnic area where we would stop for lunch. Once there, R. and I gathered our lunches and headed for the picnic tables. We did observe that everyone else was sitting at the inner tables rather than the ones near the edge of the picnic area, but this did not register to us as we thought it'd be nice to sit near the trees full of monkeys. There we sat and engaged in conversation about the safari.

Then, it happened. A monkey stole my ham sandwich...right out of my hand. This monkey ran under my chair and reached up in between my legs for the sandwich. I threw the sandwich onto the table in complete shock and the monkey jumped on the table, grabbed a slice of bread, and ate it right in front of me. Chewing and staring and mocking. Evil, evil monkey. After he ran off, R. and I burst out laughing at our total obliviousness. We continued eating and making fun of ourselves when it happened again. This time a monkey jumped on the table and pilfered R.'s banana bread. Banana bread! I guess we didn't learn. We admitted defeat and threw out the remainder of our lunch. I tossed my bag of Lays Thai Sweet Chile potato chips on top of the trash can so the monkeys could take it. The photo is of a mommy monkey eating the chips.

Townships and Racial Harmony
In the post-apartheid era, South Africa is still desegregated with distinct neighborhoods separating whites, Indians, and blacks. While in Pretoria, R. and I were interested in visiting a township because we had heard accounts of living in Soweto, where Oprah was building a school for girls. My cousin drove us to a township nearby to where his family lived in Pretoria to give us a feel as to what Soweto and all townships were like.

Hendrick's quoted AIDS infection rate may have been higher than what the country publishes, but no doubt HIV/AIDS is a serious problem in this country as are hunger and poverty. The shacks were made of cement or aluminum siding and were dreadfully small and cramped. As we drove in our luxury SUV, most of the people walked in the scorching heat and many mothers carried their children in shawls tied around their backs. My relatives employed wonderful servants from this township who had to climb a large hill every morning to cross into the Indian section of town. Their maid cooked Indian food better than I could. I was awed by the differences from one way one life to another. Experiencing such aspects of life is the reason I travel.

Capetown and Cape of Good HopeThe final part of our trip was Cape Town - one of most beautiful places I have ever visited. We relished what Cape Town had to offer, including the fear of heights inducing views from Table Mountain, the jail cell that was the former home of Nelson Mandela at Robben Island, and the world renowned wineries of the Winelands.

We took a driving tour along the scenic coasts to visit the southernmost points of the country (again arranged by a family member). We drove down the Atlantic coast via Chapman's Peak on our way to Cape Point and the Cape of Good Hope. We hiked along the at times treacherous trails at Cape of Good Hope Nature Reserve where we witnessed majestic views of the Atlantic and Indian oceans. On our return to the city, we visited the Penguin colony at Boulders Beach. It was a memorable adventure.

Postcard: Spain and Italy

2009-05-20T09:51:00.011-04:00

From the archives... This will not be a good example of my writing skills, but I am happy to have a record of my travels through Spain and Italy in the summer of 2001. I forgot so much of what had happened. Here are the emails that I sent to friends and family along the way. And I am resisting the strong urge to edit this!

Originally sent Thursday, June 14, 2001 5:55 PM

Subject: Hola desde Granada

I´m writing from a little Internet cafe in the southern town of Granada, Spain. It´s not very hard to do since there are Internet hookups everywhere even in the hostales. For those of you who don´t know where I am, you clearly aren´t calling me enough. Pick up the phone! I´m travelling in Spain and Italy for 4 weeks with my college roommate, P. Yes, I am still employed but on a very extended vacation. Thanks to my wonderful boss! Okay, I´m glad the sucking up is through.

This is Day 6. We arrived in Madrid from where we rented a car so we could road trip through Spain. I highly recommend driving through a foreign country because it is amazing the little things that come up. Be prepared to be very frustrated with the lack of street signs, though. I am amazed at what a good sense of direction I have and I can read a map. I never knew. Basically, we´ve seen all the big sites in the cities we´ve visited including Madrid, Cordoba, Sevilla, Toledo, Granada, Nerja. I won´t bore everyone with the details as most of you have been to Spain. If you haven´t yet, maybe I´ll fill you in later. Or just go!

Instead, I´ll just tell you some things which I found interesting or entertaining that others may not deem worth noting due to lack of the A. perspective.

1. Matadors are hot. Against my brother´s advice, I went to see a bullfight in Madrid. It was horrible and disgusting as 6 bulls were killed that day while spectators cheered on. But, despite the freezing temperatures and the carnage, we stayed til the end because we wanted to watch all the cute matadors. It´s surprising how immune you become to the killing. Toward the end, we were just waiting for the bulls to die so that it would all end.

2. You know movies where the car starts rolling backward as someone gives chase. Oh yeah, that happened to me. Being a novice to stick shifts, I parked the car and forgot to set the parking break. I had to jump in and slam down the brake. It was quite funny.

3. In the States, everyone thinks I´m of Spanish speaking origin. I must look Latina. That has continued here. Sadly, I know very little Spanish. I think people think I´m being snobby. However, they can easily tell I´m Americana. There´s no hiding that.

4. Tour groups are a great thing because you can follow them whenever you´re lost. We followed the people carrying maps through the windy confusing streets of Cordoba and Sevilla. Also, it´s great if you can overhear the guide´s explanation of what you´re seeing.

5. If I see 1 more Cathedral... Spain is very Catholic so we´ve seen Cathedrals almost everywhere. I liked the mezquita in Cordoba the most because of the Muslim influence. The Toledo and Sevilla cathedrals very nice but just too ornate for me. It's very dizzying to look at them. I lose my balance.

Ahhh, I´m almost out of time. It´s hard to write on this keyboard. We´re off to the Costa del Blanca of Spain tomorrow.

Hasta, A.

Originally sent Tuesday, June 19, 2001 10:40 AM

Subject: Hola desde Barcelona

When we last left our heroines...

P. and I left the heat and flamenco dancers of Southern Spain for the paella and beaches of the East coast. After blitzkrieging through the sites of Madrid through Granada, we've been relaxing for the 2nd half of our Spain trip.

I drove for most of the very blah trip from Granada to Costa Blanca. We stopped at the San Juan Beach in Alicante, and I'm about 3 shades darker than I was. Then, we went out on the town in Valencia. This was the biggest night life we have experienced. We even heard Bon Jovi blaring from some guy's car- "It's my life...now or never." (That's for you, A.C.)! It's like a night out in San Fran except we have to point to things on the menu. We also watched some guy unsuccessfully try to take some woman's purse...yeah,that happens in San Fran, too.

Finally, we arrived in Barcelona on Saturday only to be turned away due to lack of a motel room. P. got pulled over for making a somewhat erratic car move. She had to take a breathalyzer test, which was quite amusing. (shhh....don't tell her I told you). So, we re-routed to the Costa Brava to spend more time on the beach although it was not as nice as the Costa Blanca. Finally, we arrived in Barcelona, a beautiful Spanish city full of many, many Americans. La Sagrada Familia was probably my favorite Spain site b/c I'm a big fan of Gaudi. A few of you may remember Neumann's architecture class at Brown...well, it was fun to see something I had studied. Walking down the narrow, spirally staircase was wild. Don't look down. We also stopped by Gaudi's Parc Guell. We saw a beautiful view of the Mediterranean and the city from the top. And then, we got very lost in the labyrinth of side paths and gardens. Gaudi was pretty damn creative or high. We saw the sites pretty early and have been spending the rest of the time doing nothing.

We have been hanging out on Les Rambles watching the people walk by and playing "Are they Americana or Euro?" Americans are so easy to spot b/c they are less snobby looking and a lot less stylish. Also, the backpacks and sneakers are a big give away. We were in our hotel room last night waiting to go out(the hours from 10pm - 1am pass very slowly b/c you're just waiting and waiting) when we heard these guys having a deep racial discussion (not really). It was such an obnoxious conversation but the best line was "you went to a liberal college, you don't have any perspective. you're too sensitive."

The Barcelona Metro is also amusing b/c of the elevator music. We were able to discern John Lennon, Bryan Adams, Moon River, lots of 80s music. Also,The Naked Truth, the show with Tea Leoni is always on the TV. At first, we were making fun of it, but now we find ourselves turning on the TV looking for it. "Is it on? Where's Tea?" Either that or the Spanish Price is Right, Precio Juste.

It's siesta time right now. I haven't been able to adjust to this tradition although it is a great idea. The Internet cafe is packed with us Americans. Spain has been wonderful. I loved driving through the country and drinking Sangria into the night. My favorite spots were probably Sevilla, Granada, Nerja, Costa Blanca, and Barcelona. It is weird that when our Spain trip is over, we still half of our vacation left. I'll email from Italy. There are many Spain postcards heading to the States.
To show my web nerdiness, this is an aside for my coworkers: (1) Yahoo Mail is 10x faster internationally than Hotmail. The Yahoo folks had said this was true b/c they are a framed site and Hotmail operates with redirects. I guess they weren't just full of themselves as usual. (2) When I drop down the address bar, I see yahoo.fr, yahoo.br, yahoo.com, etc as the predominant sites. I guess everyone does Yahoo. (3) I've seen very few billboards on the autovias except in the big cities. The biggest I saw was wanadoo.es, which I know is a big European search engine. Also, I saw dot.com ads on buses. (4) ads.x10.com pop-ups everywhere. You can't get away from it. Interesting stuff.

Originally sent Monday, July 02, 2001 8:28 AM
Subject: da Roma
Ciao!
Day 24 begins...I've developed quite the teva tan at this point. My toes must be the darkest part of my body.
I am now in the great shopping mall known as Italy. The Italy Trail: Rome-Venice-Milan-Genova-Cinque Terre-Florence-Siena/Pisa-Pompei-Naples-Rome. So far, everywhere in Italy has been about 10x more crowded than Spain. We were spolied by the lack of waiting in Spain, but Italy has been one long queue. People are a little more rude but a lot more stylish. Shopping!

Spain

was a lot more exciting to me b/c I hadn't been there before. I've been to Italy before but there were still a few more highlights on the second half of the trip. My favorite part of this vacation was Venice b/c it's a beautiful city, and my college friend D. and his wife C. were able to meet us there. They drove a long way from Germany through my favorite mountain range - the Alps- to come visit us for the weekend. (Thanks, D&C)! Sightseeing was fun but it was especially great to talk to familiar, friendly, English speaking people. We took the requisite gondola ride. We contemplated buying a $40,000 chandelier. No, not really.
The second best part of Italy was hiking through Cinque Terre. Cinque Terre are the five towns along the Italian Riviera coast, and there is an at times grueling 11km trail through the mountains and along the coast there. We motored through it in 4 hrs in the unbearable sun. (You missed out, J.P.). It definitely isn't the 'path not taken' as we met tons of backpackers there, but still worth it for the incredible views. The water was an amazing crystal blue. No green at all. (B.W., you know what that means). I threw out all the clothes I had been wearing. Did I mention how HOT it was?
Did you know that 70% of Italian men call their mothers EVERY day? It's true. Everyone is always on the phone with their moms here.
There were some other cool highlights. I liked the art in Florence. I saw Botticelli's Birth of Venus on which I had done a presentation in 10th grade History class (in Mrs. Whiting's class, N.). I was excited about that b/c it's one of the three paintings I actually recognize.
Riding the train was an adventure. Yesterday, we met some overly friendly train hoppers. One of the guys showed his appreciation for P. and Asian women by making that universal slanty eyes motion. I tried unsuccessfully not to laugh. They were very amusing and good tour guides. We declined on the offer to have Italian boyfriends. Sadly, they were kicked off before they could entertain us some more.
Crossing the street is sort of like the Seinfeld Frogger episode. Red lights seem to be strictly discretionary. We've resorted to using old women as our shields as they are much more adept at crossing the street than we are.
Well, the trip is nearing the end. I'm even looking forward to going back to work. I miss the metrix. I'll see y'all in NYC.
Ciao love, A.

Admirable Woman: A Tribute to My Mother

2009-05-17T20:46:00.009-04:00

I was daunted when faced with this MBA application essay.

Identify someone you regard as a hero, a leader or role model whom you admire. Describe how this person has influenced your development.

Ten years ago, the essay portion of the SATs asked almost exactly this question. My mind went blank. I scribbled furiously about…Rosa Parks. I did not even know enough about Rosa Parks to fill the page but I babbled on and passed the writing portion with high marks. Don’t get me wrong, Rosa Parks is an iconic symbol of the Civil Rights movement. She is to be admired. However, my family did not move to the U.S. until the 1970’s and this choice did not strike me as especially personal. I vowed to redeem myself.

My initial instinct was to think of a woman. Not surprising as I consider myself a strong woman and I admire other such women. I rise up to challenges without relying on the guidance of others. Or so I thought until I tackled this question.

I chose to write about my mother. Not an easy task considering us first generation Indian-Americans were not exactly raised in gushing families that expressed emotions or acknowledged feelings. Would Harvard recognize the depths I needed to explore for this essay? Would I do my mother justice? Would I cry? Maybe. Hopefully. Yes.

"You’re too independent," exclaimed the Indian Uncles and Aunties. Only, they meant it in the pejorative sense of the word. It was okay when I graduated valedictorian of my high school and when I went away to an ivy league school. It was not okay when I wanted to do things my way. Often, my way would clash with the Indian way.

In my latest act of "rebellion," I had moved across the country to California to work and experience life. Most of my cousins and family friends had moved back into their parents’ homes after college. Some ventured out to a safe radius. That was the correct way, especially for an Indian girl.

Here I was paving my own path again. Well, as I learned in college, I’m not as unique an Indian-American female as I thought. When I really stopped to think about it, my mom cleared far more hurdles than I have ever faced.

My mom has two older sisters who married young - the eldest at 14 and the second at 16. Those were the 60s in India. Few women went to college, and if they did, they were more likely to be Brahmin or well-to-do. Certainly not a poor village girl. What was the point when women should get married and stay at home to raise their children and care for their husbands. Sure, she took home economics with the other girls in school and helped her parents at home. Why not learn how to sew, cook, and balance a budget?

My mom went to college and in the sprawling metropolis of Bombay, no less. I had some trepidation of moving to San Francisco on my own and that is nowhere near the size of Bombay. She did not think of it as fearless nor did she consider the social ramifications of seeming too educated among her soon to be Indian peers in America. She was simply smart.

My mom married my father after earning her B.A. in Economics. (that’s the same degree I obtained). None of my aunts had college degrees and many never finished high school. That’s not to say they were not intelligent. But, I recognized that my mom achieved something special. Unfortunately, it was not necessarily revered in an Indian woman of no social status. Thus, my mom never flaunted her education and downplayed her intelligence. That sounds familiar to me. Sometimes, we are both humble to a fault.

My dad returned to the U.S. to start his job, but my mom was now pregnant and stayed behind to wait for her visa call. The call came as she was in the hospital giving birth to my brother and she would have to wait almost a year for the next call. During this time, my mom stayed with her parents at first before moving in with my dad’s parents. That was not easy. As much as I loved my paternal grandparents, there was a certain way to treat a daughter-in-law back then. To Americans, it would have appeared that my mom was someone subservient. Again, she persevered. She was above that, yet remained the dutiful daughter-in-law.

My mom, at a mature 24, traveled to the U.S. on her own with a one year old to rejoin my father. A year later, I was born. There was no thought of paternity leave or a husband helping his wife back then. My dad returned to work immediately and my mom was left to run after a toddler, care for a newborn, cook dinner, and maintain the home. No nanny or family to help. Just an indomitable nature.

That was not the way things would remain. My parents began a joint entrepreneurship while I was still in diapers. My dad, to his forward thinking credit, recognized that my mom’s intelligence should not be wasted. My mom now worked full-time while managing the home. Watching my mom succeed in business ventures is what has developed my own business sense and entrepreneurial spirit. I, too, can do it all.

My life has been easy now that I think about it. I’m single at 27, living in San Francisco, well employed and have the goal of pursuing my MBA. I’m simply treading in my mom’s worn path. She’s the reason I’m "independent" and "defiant" and "confident." How could her daughter be anything less.

Phew, I did it. And within the imposed word limit. Harvard does not understand how verbose I can be. I inherited that from my mom, too.

The beginning

2009-05-15T12:27:00.000-04:00

I work in the Internet. Well, these days we call it "digital media," with the advent of e-commerce, video, mobile web, online banking, social networking, etc. But, I still like to say I work in the Internet because I remember how it was ten years ago when I first entered the door into this world.

I lived in San Francisco then, circa 1998. I was consulting at PwC and dying to get a piece of the Internet pie. However, I had no programming or computer or web-related skills to speak of, so it seemed an impossibility. People were becoming millionaires left and right, inlcuding some of my friends. That wasn't my end goal, though (see the aforementioned lack of skills). I wanted to be a part of the excitement.

I loved and still love to hear about the upcoming advances in this field. For example, I'm looking forward to the total integration of web, TV, and mobile. Even more than all of this, I love being an early adopter of all the new stuff. I first got into surfing my junior year of college. Since then, I've done everything to feed the addiction - Amazon, Priceline, ebay, Google, Blue Mountain Arts, Zappos, Friendster, MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, the list goes on. And I'd like to point out that I never used AOL.

The one thing I'd intentionally avoided -- blogging. I am a very private person. Numerous old colleagues have sent me invitations or shown me their awesome blogs. I read everyone else's blogs religiously, but I am not a blogger (or vlogger or mobloger). Maybe it's embarassment or maybe I want to stay an enigma.

So, why start now? It's not the peer pressure certainly. I do miss the days when I would write endlessly - my travel journals, short stories to humor friends, articles for my school papers, autobiographical chapters, that book I was going to get published. That's not it either. I want my son (and any future children) to have an insight into me. That's why I called this blog "A Postscript." It's a supplement to what they'll experience with me.

fyi, I'm typing this as my son sleeps on my chest. I hope not all posts take this long!